Songtexte 01 / 24 / 01 (My Story) - Nomrah

Hmm, this isn't working
I think we need to try something different
Oh! I got it
I'll put on some music that is meant to
Evoke emotion from those who listen to it
Now what I want you to do is listen to the music
And just describe to me what it makes you feel
Alright, I mean I'm, I'm down to try anything

Yo
So I guess it's time I finally told my story, huh?
So, here we go
Yeah
Check it
Grew up in a small town, a couple thousand people
Tight-knit community, our eyes upon the steeple
I once believed in God until my life had made me question
Everything that stood before me always had me second guessin'
I saw through the hypocrisy that mirrored in my eyes
Like a shadow's own reflection, yeah it really blew my mind
When I saw there's nothing they could do to try and reconcile
The pain from knowin' my father's a preacher who abandoned his only child
Just to clarify, I always had a father figure
And I fuckin' love him dearly, but my pain has always lingered
I wonder where he went, my biological dad
'Cause I never met him once and that shit weighs on my head
I don't want nothin' from him 'cept for maybe some answers
Why'd he leave my fuckin' mom to take the pain and the damage?
That he gave her from the church because he's worried 'bout his status
Had her ran out of the city so he could keep on with his practice
I won't go any further, he don't get that time of day
If he wanted more of my time, well then he shoulda fuckin' stayed
But I'm glad he didn't, 'cause my dad is truly great
I don't cry for you no more, I'm fuckin' over you, Dave
Now it's two years later, bout to graduate from middle school
Been bullied since the fourth grade for what I ate and thought was cool
Shit, it's like I can't catch a break
13 and depressed, it's such a villainous state
But let's turn back the clock to the developmental years
January 24th when I finally appeared
Over a month early, I'm steadily overturning
Being born with some issues that all bred my insecurity
For the first four years, wasn't sure I would make it
Had a weak immune system, sinus system was faded
I was always fuckin' sick, but yet my smile was stayin'
Didn't want want my mom to worry, so I'd hide all my panic
Now let's speed up more recent, the beginning of high school
Hardly went in knowing anyone, the air was so spiteful
I slowly made friends that lasted the four years
But once we graduated, I said goodbye to those peers
I see them on occasion, but it'll never be the same
Saw each other ever day, now we get what we can take
I'm feelin' really bad because we took those days for granted
Now we've gone our separate ways and I just can't fuckin' stand it
I'm afraid of the day I'll see them for the last time
What's worse is none of us will know that it's the last time
Reflectin' on the past times, all our favorite pastimes
Painted up at halftime, laughin' in those class lines
Another one of my homies, he about to hit the military
That shit's really scary, but he seem like he ain't carin'
He ain't fuckin' scared at all, and that kinda gives me hope
So go and kill it homie, I'll be waitin' for you at home
And then there's me, all alone in the dark
Writing song after song hopin' this one will spark
Pour my heart onto the record until I'm finally bleeding out
But I don't know if imma swim or if I'll die out in the drought
I don't really know where I'm gonna take it from here
In college, workin' part time, chasin' careers
The American dream, right? Doesn't that seem right?
Shit I don't know, I just hope that I'll be fine