Lyrics and translation Ferman - İsyanım Var

İsyanım Var

Birakip gitselerde gitmez dediklerim
Bilmedikleri birsey vardi
Ben Imkansizdim... terkedenlerden degil!...

Isyanim var yasamak zor gülemem Dünya bana dar
Gel benim ol Yar dedigimde sunu bil cok canim aciyor
Sevmedi zaten beni Kaderim bana hep o zulmediyor
Can diye bildigim herkes birer birer simdi simdi kayboluyor...
Biktim inan yalan yalan Dünyadan
Lan hersey bombos gectim su Canimdan
Sık son Kursunu sensiz yasayamam
Haram gülüm bana baska bir Can...

Yorgunum ben Yillarim cabuk gecti Dostlar anlamadim
Birini sevmistim galiba evet simdi hatirladim
O cok cok öncedendi o beni tek incitendi
Kaybetmekten korktugum tek askim
O benim herseyimdi...
Haa sahi Sözde en Kral Gardasim vardi
Unutmayalim onu nede olsa o en iyi Kankamdi
Cebimde Param varken her zaman hep yanimdaydin
Ne oldu lan Kamil Yorgan gitti Kavga bitti demi?!
Bu Sözler Cinnet degil Ibret olsunki bosuna yazmiyim
Kalemim kirilsada anlatmaktan usanmadim
Yanlizligimla Savas verdim binlerce kez istemeden
Hayir ben istemedim Yollar hep Dikendi Usta
Yanlis Kaderin dogru Yasami yok Yarinlarim hep vuslat
Ne kadar cok yasamak istesemde Intihar esikte
Duygular celpesikte sozbul.net bitek Gönlüm Anama hasret
Umrumda degil Dünya Belimi sen cok büktün Gurbet...
Hayatim sacma sapan gayrimesrularda Yol aldi
Gencligim fark etmeden Besik gibi sallandi
Canima kasti var Gecemin Gündüzlerim isyankar
Amacim artik yok ben yasamaktan hic bir Zevk almiyorumki
Kimseye sormuyorum bu Sair Ölümü resm etti
Haykirislarim bi tek Kayit Odamda kendimeydi
Bu Satirlarim beni yasamaktan sogutanlara lan yetmezmi?!
Bagirarak küfretsem Kadere söyle Kinim dinermiki
Kafama siksam söylesene bana hersey orda bitermiki?!
Hersey bu kadar degil daha hic biseyimi anlatmadim
Ben Baba Parasiyla Millete Hava atmazdim
Onca Senemi voltaladim Yarinlarim baltalandi
Çok degil mutlu bi sozbul.net Hayatim Sevenlerim olmaliydi
Eksik olan neydi her Derde Eyvallah etmedikmi
Adam gibi sevmedikmi bildiginiz gibi degilki...
Sevince birini tatli geliyormus lan Askin Günahlari
Yaninda olmak icin silersin tüm Sevaplari
Kaybetmem benim olsun Yar demek tek olasiliktir
Sanirim anladiniz Suc islememek Elde degil
Bardaklar doldu tasti fakat bugün yanlizim
Sevdiklerimden cok uzakta Acilarin Allahindayim
Kendimle bas basayim korkmuyorum Ölüm senden
Haydi gel bas ucundayim Kirpiklerimi islatmadim...
Ben 22 Yasimda öldüm lan Günesim cok erken söndü
Doksanimda gömseler nolurki Bedenim cok Kis gördü
Ölümü bekler gibiyim Ecel sana eyvallah
Kaybettim Yolumu yalvardim yardim et nolur Allahim
Sartli Tahliye oldu Gönlüm yalan Asklar Zindanindan
Ben cok Sevgi gördüm bunca Yil falanlar filanlardan
Birtek canim Annem sana Kurbanim Gözyaslarimi o silerdi
Affet beni nolur canim Annem bildigin gibi degilki...

Canim Annem seni üzmek Yüregime cok zor geliyor
Ama Haksizliga gelemem bunu en cok benden iyi sen biliyorsun
Kalles hep Insanlar sen söylerdin ben hic seni dinlemedim
Kahpe Kader beni cok kötü vurdu Yarinlarimida göremedim...

Bu bir Intihar Duyurusudur...
Sanirim kendimi ihbar ediyorum...
Mürekkebim Suc Aletim... Günahlarim Ellerimde buyrun...
Eger yasamak buysa... eger Hayat bir Oyunsa...
Siz oynayin... kusura bakmayin ama ben bu Oyunda artik yokum!

Isyanim var yasamak zor gülemem Dünya bana dar
Gel benim ol Yar dedigimde sunu bil cok canim aciyor
Sevmedi zaten beni Kaderim bana hep o zulmediyor
Can diye bildigim herkes birer birer simdi simdi kayboluyor...
Biktim inan yalan yalan Dünyadan
Lan hersey bombos gectim su Canimdan
Sık son Kursunu sensiz yasayamam
Haram gülüm bana baska bir Can...

My Rebellion

Those I said wouldn't leave, even if they left
There was something they didn't know
I was impossible... not one to abandon!...

I have a rebellion, life is hard, I can't laugh, the world is narrow for me
Become mine, when I say "love," know this, my soul hurts deeply
Fate never loved me, it always oppresses me
Everyone I considered dear, one by one, is now disappearing...
I'm tired, believe me, tired of the world's lies
Damn, everything is empty, I gave up on my life
Fire the last bullet, I can't live without you
My forbidden love, another life is haram for me...

I'm tired, my years passed quickly, friends, I don't understand
I think I loved someone, yes, I remember now
It was long ago, she was the only one who hurt me
My only love that I was afraid of losing
She was my everything...
Oh right, I supposedly had the best brother
Let's not forget him, after all, he was my best buddy
When I had money in my pocket, you were always by my side
What happened, Kamil? The blanket's gone, the fight's over, right?!
These words are not madness, let them be a lesson, I don't write in vain
Even though my pen broke, I didn't get tired of telling
I fought my loneliness a thousand times involuntarily
No, I didn't want it, the paths are always thorny, master
A wrong fate has no right life, my tomorrows are all reunion
No matter how much I want to live, suicide is on the brink
Emotions are in turmoil, only my heart longs for my mother
I don't care about the world, you've bent me over, exile...
My life took its course in absurd and illegitimate ways
My youth swayed like a cradle, unnoticed
My nights and days are rebellious, with intent to harm my soul
I have no purpose anymore, I don't get any pleasure from living
I'm not asking anyone, this poet has pictured death
My screams were only for myself in my recording room
Aren't these lines enough for those who made me tired of living?!
If I scream and curse at fate, will my hatred subside
If I shoot myself in the head, tell me, will everything end there?!
This is not all, I haven't told you anything yet
I wouldn't show off to people with my father's money
I wasted so many years, my tomorrows were ruined
Not much, I should have had a happy life with loved ones
What was missing? Didn't we say "okay" to every pain
Didn't we love like a man, it's not as you know...
When you love someone, the sins of love seem sweet
You erase all your good deeds to be with her
I won't lose, "she will be mine" is the only possibility
I guess you understand, it's not in my hands not to commit a crime
The glasses are full and overflowing, but I am alone today
Far from my loved ones, I am in the God of pains
I am alone with myself, I am not afraid of death
Come on, come, I'm at my wit's end, I haven't wet my eyelashes...
I died at 22, my sun went out too early
What does it matter if they bury me at 90, my body has seen so much winter
I'm waiting for death, I surrender to you, Azrael
I lost my way, I begged, please help me, God
My heart was conditionally released from the prison of false loves
I have seen a lot of love all these years from so-and-so
Only my dear mother, I sacrifice myself for you, she would wipe away my tears
Forgive me, please, my dear mother, it's not as you know...

My dear mother, it hurts my heart so much to upset you
But I can't stand injustice, you know this better than anyone
People are always treacherous, you used to say, I never listened to you
The wretched fate hit me so hard, I couldn't even see my tomorrows...

This is a suicide announcement...
I guess I'm reporting myself...
My ink is my weapon of crime... My sins are in my hands, here you go...
If this is living... if life is a game...
You play... I'm sorry, but I'm no longer in this game!

I have a rebellion, life is hard, I can't laugh, the world is narrow for me
Become mine, when I say "love," know this, my soul hurts deeply
Fate never loved me, it always oppresses me
Everyone I considered dear, one by one, is now disappearing...
I'm tired, believe me, tired of the world's lies
Damn, everything is empty, I gave up on my life
Fire the last bullet, I can't live without you
My forbidden love, another life is haram for me...