Lyrics and translation moumoon - PAIN

PAIN

どれだけ傷つき涙しても そう自分で選んだこの道を
花咲く季節の予感を胸に 歩いていく

平然を装う日々も ただ漠然と廻る月日も
うんざりだ 闇に目を閉じた 耳を塞いで 息をひそめた

さあ今こそ 身体じゅうを巡る 全部の感覚を 消し去ってしまえば
悲しみも 孤独も憎しみも 何も感じずに 何も恐れずに
それは幸せかな 楽になれるのかな あなたは、 わたしは

ああ こんなに心が苦しいのは いま 自分が生きている証でしょう
本当の自分と向き合うたび 痛むけど

閉じ込めて 溢れ出して この感情は 暴れるばかり
自分では 制御できないほど ふくれあがってく 怪物みたいだ

だからこそ 誰かを愛したり 誰かに愛されて どうにか安心して
ああそれでも疑心暗鬼なまま 傷つき傷つけて もう一度抱きしめて
少しでもまっすぐ進んでゆけたらと 願うのに 願うのに

ああ こんなに涙があふれるのは いま 自分が生きている証でしょう
本当の気持ち忘れないように 泣くんだね

白い絵の具で 塗りつぶした 黒い心も

果てしなく続く遠い未知を そう 自分で選んだ棘道を
花咲く季節の予感を胸に 歩き続ければ
この痛みは 心を守る為に もう これ以上自分騙さぬように
本当の自分忘れぬ為の 道しるべ

PAIN

As much as I get hurt and cry, I chose this path myself
And with a sense of anticipation for the season of flowers, I walk

My days of pretending to be calm, and my days of just going through the motions
Are sickening. I closed my eyes to the darkness, covered my ears, and held my breath

Now, if only I could erase all the feelings coursing through my body
Then I wouldn't have to feel sadness, loneliness, or hatred. I wouldn’t have to feel anything, or be afraid of anything.
Would that be happiness? Would that bring me relief? You tell me. You tell me, Baby

Oh, the reason my heart is in so much pain right now is because I'm alive
Every time I face my true self, it hurts

I lock it up, but it spills out. These emotions are nothing but a raging storm
They grow so large that I can't control them. They're like monsters

That's why I try to love someone, or to be loved by someone, in order to feel a little bit more secure
Oh, but even then, I'm still full of doubt. I get hurt and I hurt others. Hold me again
I wish I could just go straight ahead, but I keep wishing and wishing

Oh, the reason my tears keep falling right now is because I'm alive
So that I won't forget how I really feel, I cry

My black heart, I painted it over with white paint

I chose this path of thorns, an endless and unknown road
And with a sense of anticipation for the season of flowers, I'll keep walking
This pain is here to protect my heart, so that I won't lie to myself anymore
It's a signpost, so that I won't forget my true self