Paroles et traduction Pierre Perret - Tonton Cristobal

Tonton Cristobal

Tonton Cristobal est revenu
Des pesos, des lingots, il en a l'cul cousu
La famille hypocrite crie "vive le barbu"
Tonton Cristobal est revenu

À nous ses petits neveux on nous disait "il s'est taillé"
En Amérique du Sud sans un pélot tout débraillé
Mes enfants que la Vierge nous patafiole
Plutôt que de revoir un jour sa fiole
À Buenos Aires il faisait la traite d'on ne sait quel produit
Il est revenu fortune faite plein de cadeaux jolis
Une poupée qui fait pipi, qui s'mouche
Et qui a des seins qui s'gonflent avec la bouche

Tonton Cristobal est revenu
Des pesos, des lingots, il en a l'cul cousu
La famille hypocrite crie "vive le barbu"
Tonton Cristobal est revenu

Depuis qu'tonton est là, on fume de la marijuana
On fout des coups d'pétard partout, nos parents mouftent pas
Le matin après l'chocolat on chique
Et on crache à six pas comme au Mexique
Il était chef guérillero et dur comme un silex
Il a battu José Corral au poignard en solex
Estafilé de l'oreille à la bouche
L'autre avait un bel abreuvoir à mouches

Tonton Cristobal est revenu
Des pesos, des lingots, il en a l'cul cousu
La famille hypocrite crie "vive le barbu"
Tonton Cristobal est revenu

Je vais maintenant vous le décrire, il est petit, mignon
Il a le tuyau d'échappement plutôt près du gazon
Des pieds au blair, il est plein d'cicatrices
Truffé d'valdas dans l'tiroir à saucisses
Avec ses escalopes, il sait toujours d'où vient le vent
Il lui reste une dent en or, juste sur le devant
"Cristobal, vous sentez un peu la chèvre"
Disait ma mère en lui tendant ses lèvres

Tonton Cristobal est revenu
Des pesos, des lingots, il en a l'cul cousu
La famille hypocrite crie "vive le barbu"
Tonton Cristobal est revenu

Tonton est mort un jour d'avoir oublié d'respirer
Sa distraction fatale, nous ses copains, nous fit pleurer
Honteux de voir nos parents qui plaisantent
Autour de sa dépouille encore fumante
Mais un fantôme depuis punit cette famille ingrate
Quand ces bourreaux nous ont meurtri les miches à coups d'savate
Il vient la nuit tirer les pieds d'ma mère
Qui aussitôt fout une baffe à mon père

Tonton Cristobal est revenu
Des pesos, des lingots, rien ne sera perdu
Car le testament lègue, aux neveux les écus
Tonton Cristobal est revenu

(Vive Tonton Cristobal)
(Vive Tonton Cristobal)
(Vive Tonton Cristobal)
(Vive Tonton Cristobal)
(Vive Tonton Cristobal)
(Vive Tonton Cristobal)

Uncle Cristobal

Uncle Cristobal has returned,
His pockets lined with pesos and gold,
The hypocritical family cries, "Long live the bearded one!"
Uncle Cristobal has returned.

They told us, his little nephews, "He's gone for good,"
To South America, without a penny, all disheveled.
My children, may the Virgin protect us,
Rather than seeing his flask again one day.
In Buenos Aires, he was trafficking who knows what,
He's back, fortune made, full of pretty gifts.
A doll that pees, blows its nose,
And whose breasts inflate with your mouth.

Uncle Cristobal has returned,
His pockets lined with pesos and gold,
The hypocritical family cries, "Long live the bearded one!"
Uncle Cristobal has returned.

Since Uncle's been here, we've been smoking marijuana,
Setting off firecrackers everywhere, our parents don't care.
In the morning, after chocolate, we chew,
And spit six paces away, like in Mexico.
He was a guerrilla leader, tough as flint,
He beat José Corral with a dagger on a moped.
Slashed from ear to mouth,
The other guy had a nice fly-watering hole.

Uncle Cristobal has returned,
His pockets lined with pesos and gold,
The hypocritical family cries, "Long live the bearded one!"
Uncle Cristobal has returned.

Let me describe him now, he's short, cute,
His exhaust pipe is rather close to the grass.
From head to toe, he's full of scars,
Stuffed with bullets in the sausage drawer.
With his scars, he always knows which way the wind blows,
He has one gold tooth left, right in the front.
"Cristobal, you smell a bit like a goat,"
My mother said, offering him her lips.

Uncle Cristobal has returned,
His pockets lined with pesos and gold,
The hypocritical family cries, "Long live the bearded one!"
Uncle Cristobal has returned.

Uncle died one day from forgetting to breathe,
His fatal absentmindedness made us, his friends, cry.
Ashamed to see our parents joking,
Around his still-smoking remains.
But a ghost has since punished this ungrateful family,
When these tormentors bruised our asses with their shoes.
He comes at night to pull my mother's feet,
Who immediately slaps my father.

Uncle Cristobal has returned,
Pesos and gold, nothing will be lost,
For the will bequeaths the crowns to his nephews.
Uncle Cristobal has returned.

(Long live Uncle Cristobal)
(Long live Uncle Cristobal)
(Long live Uncle Cristobal)
(Long live Uncle Cristobal)
(Long live Uncle Cristobal)
(Long live Uncle Cristobal)