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泣けないラプソディ

あの子がママになったって ほんのりあったかな知らせ
「似合わないよ」と冷やかしの言葉は 相変わらずのやりとり
あたしもがんばってるし それなりに楽しんでるのに
家路を急ぐ人に追い越されて どこか置いてきぼり
悔しいとか そんなんじゃなくて
あとからあとから 心細さ湧いてくる
あたしもね 愛したい
愛されたいのに 傷つくのが怖い
ほんとはね 泣きたいよ
泣きたいのに また平気なフリ

もしもあのとき 別の道選んでたら違ってたかな
引き返したいわけじゃないけれど ぼんやり考えてる
今頃 彼(あいつ) どこでどうしてる?
昔を懐かしむなんて 後ろ向きかな
ときどきね 苦しいよ
苦しいのに 立ち止まるのが怖い
ほんとはね 感じたい
でも戸惑うから 感じまいとしている

ほんとはね 愛したい
愛されたいのに 傷つくのが怖い
ほんとはね 泣きたいよ
泣きたいのに また平気なフリ

Elegy I Can't Cry

I hear our childhood friend has become a mother and warmth fills me
Saying things like "it doesn't suit you" as we tease each other, has it always been this way?
I've been working hard, and I've got my own way of enjoying life
I'm passed by people rushing home, I feel I'm being left behind
It's not that I feel bitter or anything
It's just that loneliness creeps up on me
I'd like to love someone, too
To be loved, but it's scary to get hurt
Truth is, I want to cry
I want to cry, but again I pretend I'm fine

If that day, If I had chosen a different path, I wonder if things would be different
I don't want to go back, but I can't help but think about it
I wonder where he is, what he's doing
It's probably silly of me to be thinking about the past
Sometimes it's really hard
It's hard, but I'm afraid to stop
Truth is, I want to feel
It's hard to feel, so I try not to

I'd like to love someone, too
To be loved, but it's scary to get hurt
Truth is, I want to cry
I want to cry, but again I pretend I'm fine