Текст и перевод песни Capitan Mr Litro - Lorena la del Banco

Lorena la del Banco

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Prrrr)
Ya tú sabe'

Suena "ring, ring", sí; está a beat el aparato
"Hola, soy Lorena y le llamo del nuevo banco"
Ufa, ¡no me interesa ni de largo!
No me digas que no sin escuchar lo que regalo

¿Regalo?, yo le dije como un tonto
Claro que olía a timo, pero yo no caigo
Le ofrezco gratis esta nueva tarjeta oro
Perdóname, no puedo hablar, estoy currando

Déjame que insista, solo son cinco minutos
Le dije: "dispara" pensando "yo soy más listo"
Empezó por un seguro y acabando por un gratis
He de admitir que tenía una voz sexy

Me hablaba de un seguro de vida que cura el SIDA
Y que todo lo que comprara tendría garantía
Me habla de descuentos, de ingresos y de dietas
Me confesó que así se pudo pagar las tetas

Me hablaba de un tesoro escondido en una isla
Y del millón de discotecas que siempre entraría por lista
Me hablaba de un futuro de Yayo por las Bahamas
Que estaba a una firmita de ofrecerme una mamada

Y me hablaba de conciertos, sabía lo que hacía
Me chivó que esa oferta expiraba el mismo día
Dijo que si lo mío era la fiesta y diversión
Que dejara en sus manos mi plan de jubilación

Habló cinco minutos, luego 10 y luego 15
De una nueva crema que previene la calvicie
Hablaba con soltura de IVA y el IRPF
Lo que no me habló fue de cómo la pifié

Habló de obras benéficas, de becas y de ayudas
Que donan caridad a los testimonios de Judas
Me hablaba de un descuento que acabaría con mis dudas
El arca perdida, ¡no me jodas!

¿Lorena?, dime dónde firmo
Gracias por llamarme a mí entre todo el mundo
Y así le di el DNI y el pin de la tarjeta
Porque eran necesarios, "son normas de la empresa"

Firmé un contrato, acepté las condiciones
No tuve ni que leer porque me dijo lo importante
Se echó a reír recordando alguna broma
Yo me fui a celebrarlo y me olvidé del tema

Lorena
Dime, ¿dónde estás?
No te puedo encontrar
No da comunicar

Ay, Lorena
Ay, dime, ¿dónde estás?
No te puedo encontrar
Salta el contestador

Pasó dos días y seguía sin noticias
Y yo con unas ganas que me llegue la tarjeta
Miré el buzón como diez veces al día
Y no llegó la carta del banco de Lorena

Pensé, "estará estresada de ayudar a la gente"
Pobrecita ella, se ha comprometido mucho
Me entraron dudas, aquí hay mucho delincuente
Me empecé a preocupar, quizá estaba en un apuro y

Lorena
Dime, ¿dónde estás?
No te puedo encontrar
No da comunicar

Ay, Lorena (Lorena)
Ay, dime, ¿dónde estás?
No te puedo encontrar
Salta el contestador

A la semana, recibí una carta
Que daba por sentado que tenía una hipoteca
Lo más extraño fue que me la dio la Parca
Que, de parte del Diablo, venía a recoger mi alma

Y yo, chulito, miré a la cara a la muerte
Sabiendo que Lorena me cubría en su seguro
Le dije: "vete, no quiero volver a verte
A menos que sea para llevarte al vecino" y

Si tuviera ceja, la hubiera levantado
Si tuviera culo, se lo habría partido
Si tuviera megas, ya lo hubiera tuiteado
Pero, como no tenía, solo se quedó mirando

No veas la gracia que me hizo al encontrar
A un vendedor de esclavos llevándose a mi hermano
Y, luego, un tipo raro con la bata de hospital
Preguntando que cuándo le voy a donar el bazo

Se ve que vendí la ropa a unos chinos que la huelen
Firmé por la libertad de expresión de Donald Trump
Doné mis bienes a una organización maléfica
Y me declaré culpable terrorista del Islam

Dormí en la calle con un duende travestido
Que le gritaba a los guiris y me abrazaba por las noches
Y yo rezábale a Lorena que me ampare
Porque, al yo no tener alma, solo está comunicado

Lorena
Dime, ¿dónde estás?
No te puedo encontrar
Me da comunicar

Ay, Lorena
Dime, ¿dónde estás?
No te puedo encontrar
Salta el contestador

Ay, Lorena, Lorena, Lorena
Dime, ¿dónde estás?
Lorena, Lorena, Lorena
Dime, ¿dónde estás?
Lorena, Lorena, Lorena
Dime, ¿dónde estás?

Lorena from the Bank

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Prrrr)
You know already

It rings "ring, ring", yeah; the phone's bumpin'
"Hello, this is Lorena and I'm calling you from the new bank"
Ugh, I'm not interested, not even a little bit!
Don't tell me no without hearing what I'm giving away

Giving away?, I said to her like a fool
Of course it smelled like a scam, but I don't fall for those
"I'm offering you this new gold card for free"
"Forgive me, I can't talk, I'm working"

"Let me insist, it's only five minutes"
I said to her "shoot" thinking "I'm smarter than this"
She started with insurance and ended up with a freebie
I have to admit, she had a sexy voice

She was telling me about a life insurance that cures AIDS
And that everything I bought would have a guarantee
She talked about discounts, income, and diets
She confessed to me that this is how she paid for her boobs

She told me about a hidden treasure on an island
And about the million nightclubs I'd always get into on the list
She told me about a Yayo future in the Bahamas
That I was one signature away from her giving me a blowjob

And she talked about concerts, she knew what she was doing
She hinted that this offer expired that same day
She said that if partying and fun were my thing
That I should leave my retirement plan in her hands

She talked for five minutes, then 10, then 15
About a new cream that prevents baldness
She spoke fluently about VAT and income tax
What she didn't tell me was how I screwed up

She talked about charities, scholarships, and grants
That they donate charity to the testimonies of Judas
She told me about a discount that would end my doubts
The lost ark, you've got to be kidding me!

"Lorena?, tell me where do I sign"
"Thank you for calling me among everyone else"
And that's how I gave her my ID and the card's PIN
"Because they were necessary, 'they're company rules'"

I signed a contract, accepted the conditions
I didn't even have to read because she told me what was important
She laughed, remembering some joke
I went to celebrate and forgot about the whole thing

Lorena
Tell me, where are you?
I can't find you
The line's dead

Oh, Lorena
Oh, tell me, where are you?
I can't find you
The answering machine picks up

Two days went by and I still had no news
And me with this urge for the card to arrive
I checked the mailbox like ten times a day
And the letter from Lorena's bank didn't arrive

I thought, "she must be stressed from helping people"
Poor thing, she's overcommitted
Doubts entered me, there's a lot of delinquents here
I started to worry, maybe she was in trouble and

Lorena
Tell me, where are you?
I can't find you
The line's dead

Oh, Lorena (Lorena)
Oh, tell me, where are you?
I can't find you
The answering machine picks up

A week later, I received a letter
That assumed I had a mortgage
The strangest thing was that it was given to me by the Grim Reaper
Who, on behalf of the Devil, came to collect my soul

And me, cocky, looked death in the face
Knowing that Lorena covered me in her insurance
I said, "go away, I don't want to see you again
Unless it's to take you to my neighbor" and

If he had an eyebrow, he would have raised it
If he had an ass, he would have split it
If he had any gigs, he would have already tweeted it
But since he didn't, he just stared

You wouldn't believe how funny I found it when I saw
A slave trader taking my brother away
And then, a weird guy in a hospital gown
Asking when I'm going to donate my spleen

It turns out I sold my clothes to some Chinese people who smell them
I signed for Donald Trump's freedom of speech
Donated my belongings to an evil organization
And declared myself guilty of being an Islamic terrorist

I slept on the street with a cross-dressing elf
Who yelled at foreigners and hugged me at night
And I prayed to Lorena to protect me
Because since I don't have a soul, I'm only contactable

Lorena
Tell me, where are you?
I can't find you
I get a dial tone

Oh, Lorena
Tell me, where are you?
I can't find you
The answering machine picks up

Oh, Lorena, Lorena, Lorena
Tell me, where are you?
Lorena, Lorena, Lorena
Tell me, where are you?
Lorena, Lorena, Lorena
Tell me, where are you?