Текст и перевод песни GADORO - クソ親父へ

クソ親父へ

刑務所から帰ってきた平日の昼
自分のほっぺたをつねり現実と知る
「遅くなったなぁ」
とゲームボーイカラーを渡され
僅差ではあるがそっちの喜びが勝った
面会を抜いて五年ぶりの出会いだったが
「いつまでゲームしてんだ？」って早々怒られた
仕方ないでしょ？初めて手に入れたゲーム機
一家団欒 囲む食卓は全クリ

「学校にはなんだって忘れても良いが
命だけは必ず持って帰って来い」
「上からでも 下からでも
どっちだって良いから一番を取ってこい」
グローブのように、大きく分厚い手のひらで
俺の髪をくしゃくゃにして親父はこう言った
「良いか？女性に手を挙げて良い瞬間はなぁ
こうやって頭を撫でる時だけだ」

地元のスナックでは評判が悪りぃ
ママも愛想尽かすほどの女ったらし
どこでGETしたんだよセンス無えスタンプ
下手くそな文章は親父なりのスラング
最低で最高のクソ親父へ
今感謝を綴っているよ嘘も無しで
不器用な愛 変わりなどいない
親父のカカトくらい固めてくライム

連発するボケの薄いチャチな親父ギャグ
ジャイアンツが負けた日にはすぐに怒鳴り出す
いびきクシャミやかましい シャツは全てIN
パンツー丁でうろつき俺と似たり寄ったり
寝てると思ってチャンネルを変えた瞬間
「今見ちょったっちゃが」なんて嘘をつく
休日、親父とTSUTAYAに向かい
借りたはずのウルトラマンが
帰り着くとVシネマに変わってた

腹いせとして「母ちゃんには内緒だぞ？」って
夜中呑みに出てたこともバラした日が懐かしい
母ちゃんの愚痴はいつもいないとこで
だが仕事場の愚痴だけは聞いたことねぇ
喧嘩して夕飯代わりの非常食
クソ餓鬼の俺が見てもそれはさすがに気の毒
結婚相手を選ぶセンス三角
かかあ天下に凌駕された亭主関白

地元のスナックでは評判が悪りぃ
ママも愛想尽かすほどの女ったらし
どこでGETしたんだよセンス無えスタンプ
下手くそな文章は親父なりのスラング
最低で最高のクソ親父へ
今感謝を綴っているよ嘘も無しで
不器用な愛 変わりなどいない
親父のカカトくらい固めてくライム

口より先に手が出てしまう職人気質だった
親父からの拳 その手で
作れなかったプラモデルを作ってくれたあの日も
仕事終わりクタクタでもしてくれたキャッチボール
何にも、生きる術なんてものは教えず
ただ自分の生き様を俺に見せてくれた
俺にとって最初のヒーローはウルトラマン
じゃなくて親父だって言う日が来るとはな
飛行機に一度も乗ったことが無いなら
俺も乗ったことのないファーストクラスに乗せてやるから
野球観戦しに行こう東京ドーム
それでジャイアンツが負けた日には相当ショック？
親父があの日俺に言った言葉覚えてる？
「俺にはラップは分からん、何言っちょるかも分からん」
「お前が武道館に立とうと立たまいと、お前はとっくに俺の誇りだ」

地元のスナックでは評判が悪りぃ
ママも愛想尽かすほどの女ったらし
どこでGETしたんだよセンス無えスタンプ
下手くそな文章は親父なりのスラング
最低で最高のクソ親父へ
今感謝を綴っているよ嘘も無しで
不器用な愛 変わりなどいない
親父のカカトくらい固めてくライム

To My Shitty Old Man

A weekday afternoon, back from the penitentiary,
I pinch my cheek, just to make sure it's reality.
"You're late," he said,
handing me a Game Boy Color instead.
Though close, my joy at the gift prevailed,
Five years and missed visits, our reunion unveiled.
"How long are you gonna play that thing?" he grumbled soon after,
But what'd he expect? My first ever game to capture.
Family gathered, the dinner table, a stage complete.

"You can forget anything at school," he'd say,
"But your life, that you must always bring back this way."
"From the top, or from the bottom rung,
I don't care which, just be number one, my son."
With hands like gloves, thick and wide,
He'd ruffle my hair, my old man, full of pride.
"Listen up, the only time you lay a hand on a woman,
Is to gently stroke her head, like this, understand, man?"

At the local snack bar, his reputation's in the dumps,
A womanizer so bad, even the mama gives him the bumps.
Where'd you even get those, those tasteless stamps so lame?
His clumsy texts, his own unique slang game.
To the worst, best, shitty old man I know,
I write these words of gratitude, no pretense, no show.
Your clumsy love, there's no replacing you,
My rhymes, I'll harden them, tough as your heel, it's true.

His barrage of corny dad jokes, so thin and weak,
If the Giants lost, his roar you'd hear all week.
Snoring, sneezing, loud as can be, shirt always tucked in tight,
Wandering around in his underwear, a familiar, funny sight.
Thinking I was asleep, I'd switch the channel quick,
"I was watching that!" he'd lie, so slick.
Weekends at TSUTAYA, picking movies together,
The Ultraman we rented somehow,
Turned into a V-Cinema by the time we got back home, whatever.

To get back at him, "Don't tell Mom, okay?" I'd start,
Spilling the beans about his late-night bar escapades, tearing him apart.
Mom's complaints, he'd only hear when she wasn't around,
But about his work, not a single gripe could be found.
After a fight, emergency rations for dinner we'd eat,
Even to my bratty eyes, it seemed a pathetic defeat.
His taste in women, a triangular mess,
A henpecked husband, by her dominance possessed.

At the local snack bar, his reputation's in the dumps,
A womanizer so bad, even the mama gives him the bumps.
Where'd you even get those, those tasteless stamps so lame?
His clumsy texts, his own unique slang game.
To the worst, best, shitty old man I know,
I write these words of gratitude, no pretense, no show.
Your clumsy love, there's no replacing you,
My rhymes, I'll harden them, tough as your heel, it's true.

A craftsman's spirit, his fists flew before his words,
With those same hands that landed blows, my world he stirred.
He built the model planes I couldn't, on that special day,
Tired from work, he'd still play catch come what may.
He didn't teach me life's tricks, or how to survive,
He simply showed me how he lived, how he thrived.
My first hero was Ultraman, I thought back then,
But to think I'd one day say, it was my old man, again and again.
If you've never flown in a plane before,
I'll put you in first class, something you've never explored.
We'll catch a game at the Tokyo Dome, just you and I,
And if the Giants lose, will you be shocked, will you cry?
Remember what you told me that day, Dad, so clear?
"I don't understand your rap, I can't make out what I hear."
"Whether you play Budokan or not, you're already my pride, my dear."

At the local snack bar, his reputation's in the dumps,
A womanizer so bad, even the mama gives him the bumps.
Where'd you even get those, those tasteless stamps so lame?
His clumsy texts, his own unique slang game.
To the worst, best, shitty old man I know,
I write these words of gratitude, no pretense, no show.
Your clumsy love, there's no replacing you,
My rhymes, I'll harden them, tough as your heel, it's true.