Fal·làcia d'amant - Judit Neddermann перевод на английский

Fal·làcia d'amant

Ploraràs al adonar-te
Que aquell aire que ella et dava,
Aquell aire, era la vida.
Ploraràs plè d'enyorança, el seu fer foll
Que a aquella edat tu censuraves.
Ploraràs la ingrevidesa de sa dansa,
De peus antics, de polca nua.
Ploraràs la menudesa de sa veu
I ploraràs amb plor de gran
Si sa mirada no t'acusa.
Quan plorava, pensaràs,
Era goig l'ànima infesta
Si el seu abraç n'era el sedant.
Ploraràs de por i de ràbia
Per haver invocat coratje
Quan calia sols ser amant,
Sense espasa ni escudan-te
D'un deliri assetjador,
Que fins veies en somriures
Esverats temptant favors.
Potser hi ha oblit d'hores d'insòlits,
Potser hi ha oblit pel frenesí,
Oblit del gust de quan tot juga
De quan el seny perd tot sentit.
Però aquest plor que ja s'impera
Té bon recer, és exaltant,
Com sobirà dins el seu regne
S'otorga estançes i esdevé vital.
Ploraràs sota el seu setge
Gestes on vas ser sever
Creien-te farsa acomodada,
Creien-te a tu mateix valent.
Era sospita de feblesa
I insistires en fingir,
Eren maldestres ses paraules
I t'havies d'encobrir.
Ploraràs ja sense vida
Doncs l'alè has refusat
I et semblarà una gran fal.làcia
No ser imprudent, fidel amant.

Lover's Fallacy

You will weep when you realize
That the air she gave you,
That air, was life.
You will weep full of longing, her crazy ways
That at that age you censored.
You will weep the trivialness of her dance,
Of ancient feet, of naked polka.
You will weep the pettiness of her voice
And you will weep with the weeping of a great one
If her gaze does not accuse you.
When she cried, you will think,
Was joy the infested soul
If her embrace was its sedative.
You will weep with fear and rage
For having invoked courage
When all it needed was to be a lover,
Without sword or shield
From an overwhelming delirium,
That until you saw in smiles
Frightened tempting favors.
Maybe there is an oblivion of hours of the unusual,
Maybe there is oblivion for the frenzy,
Oblivion of the taste of when everything plays
Of when the wisdom loses all meaning.
But this crying that is already imperious
Has a good shelter, it is exhilarating,
As sovereign within his kingdom
He grants himself stanzas and becomes vital.
You will weep under his siege
Gestures where you were severe
Believing yourself a comfortable farce,
Believing yourself brave.
It was suspicion of weakness
And you insisted on pretending,
Their words were clumsy
And you had to cover up.
You will weep now without life
For you have refused the breath
And it will seem like a great fallacy
Not to be reckless, faithful lover.