Текст и перевод песни Lars Vaular - Kem skjøt Siv Jensen

Kem skjøt Siv Jensen

Kem skjøt Siv Jensen?
Fra syv og en halv meter
No e snuten ute å leter
De spør, de spør, men vet du ka han heter?
Kanskje en vanlig mann skråstrek asylsøker
Ifra Afghanistan, livredd for Taliban
Siv ga en faen I han og hans asylsøknad
Sendte de hjem og gjor de om til heroinbønder
Han va vel kanskje manisk depressiv
Og var på stigende form og bare drepte Siv
Kanskje en som falt utenfor, utenfor ruten vår
Utenfor fallnettet, angst, dop, kaldsvette
Det e jo typisk at hun blir rammet av nokke stereotypisk
En fra Damaskus I vill hasjrus, eller fra Tsjetsjenia
Folka har ekstreme meninger
Folka skyter med samme hånden som de spiser med
Kanskje Varg Vikanes ville bli mer likandes?
Klart at det der ville skje, han har gatekredibilitet
Spørsmålet statsadvokaten stadig stiller meg e
Snuten burde holde seg til å lage veisperringer
De mistenkte bare gamle kjenninger og utlendinger
Martin Kolberg ville aldri gjort et drap, sånn
Han hadde gjort det fra taket som Karlson
Eli Hagen hadde tatt I bruk AG'en
Martin Schanche hadde bare brukt lanken
Hvis Stoltenberg endelig ville ta hun
Ville det vært som I Sopranos, dumpet hun fra en kano
På Nordmarkatur, som en normal mann
Men helt seriøst, eg tror'kkje det va han
Nei eg tror heller det va en elsker
Ikkje en hater, kanskje en bergenser
Kanskje en jente som måtte bli I skapet
For som politiker hadde Siv for mye å tape
Men eg bryr'kkje meg om kem det va
For hun va så tjukk I hodet sitt at kulen bare prellet av
Det va som om noen kastet en klinkekule I pannen hunnes
Og han falt ned på gulvet
Og hun e steinhard, hun e iskald, hun bare sa
"Du, du plukker opp den, legger han I en klipspose
Du, du gir meg et norgesplaster"
Og det e'kkje noe eg kan gjøre med det
Så slutt å spør meg
Faen meg ingenting som kan drepe hun der
Utenom hvitløk, hun e livredd for hvitløk

Who Shot Siv Jensen?

Who shot Siv Jensen?
From seven and a half meters
Now the police are out looking
They ask, they ask, but do you know his name?
Maybe a common man slash asylum seeker
From Afghanistan, terrified of the Taliban
Siv didn't give a damn about him and his asylum application
Sent them home and made them into heroin farmers
He was probably manic depressive
And was on the rise and just killed Siv
Maybe someone who fell out of line, out of our routine
Out of the safety net, anxiety, dope, cold sweat
It's so typical that she is affected by something stereotypical
Someone from Damascus in a wild hash rush, or from Chechnya
People have extreme opinions
People shoot with the same hand they eat with
Maybe Varg Vikanes would become more likeable?
Of course that would happen, he has street credibility
The question the prosecutor keeps asking me is
The cops should stick to making roadblocks
They only suspected old acquaintances and foreigners
Martin Kolberg would never have committed a murder like that
He would have done it from the roof like Karlson
Eli Hagen would have used the AG
Martin Schanche would have just used his thigh
If Stoltenberg finally wanted to take her
It would have been like in the Sopranos, dumped her from a canoe
On Nordmarka forest trail, like a normal man
But seriously, I don't think it was him
No, I think it was a lover
Not a hater, maybe someone from Bergen
Maybe a girl who had to stay in the closet
Because as a politician, Siv had too much to lose
But I don't care who it was
Because she was so thick-headed that the bullet just bounced off
It was like someone threw a marble in her forehead
And he fell to the floor
And she's tough, she's cold, she just said
"You, you pick it up, put it in a ziplock bag
You, you give me a band-aid"
And there's nothing I can do about it
So stop asking me
There's nothing that can kill her
Except garlic, she's terrified of garlic