Eskapo - LOONIE , John Roa перевод на английский

Eskapo

Kapayapaan sa sarili kailan ko pa ba matatagpuan
Araw-araw na lang ang pag-aalala parang wala na siyang katapusan

Dumudugo ng luha ang mga mata 'pag ang puso'y sugatan
Gusto ko nang lumuha ng dugo para ulo'y gumaan
Gusto ko nang matulog, bukas ipagpapatuloy ko na lang
Baka alam mo kung saan ang tamang daanan pakituro mo naman

Kasi gusto kong tingnan kung nasa'n nga ba ang pinagbuhatan
Ng kasalukuyan, ang hinaharap ay pinangunahan
Pinarusahan, nabilanggo
Sa nakaraan na kinamulatan

Hindi na rin makapaghintay pa sa pagdating ng kinabukasan
Kaya ako ay pumalaot, nagpaanod, at inabot pa ng bagyo
Sumasabog ang mga alon at pinasok na ang barko
Ang kisame ng kabaong ko'y puro kalmot ng kuko
Ramdam ko na naman bigla ang ginaw na bumabalot sa buto, na 'ko po

Habagat na ang ihip, 'pag malamig magkumot
Magdamag nasa isip, masasakit na hugot
Masamang panaginip, ang kalakip ng tulog
Kaharap pagkagising, mas malaking bangungot
Kaya, kaya, kaya...

Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
'Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Minsan gusto ko na lang na mawala na

Huwag kang, magpapalimita sa iisang plano ('wag na 'wag, 'wag na 'wag)
Imbis na mainip pagisipan pa ng maigi kung pa'no (magdamag, magdamag)
Malimit mahilig magbilin sa ibang tao
Ngunit tila 'di ko masunod sunod ang sarili kong payo

Katahimikan nakahiligan
Kapaligiran parang libingan
At kahit minsan walang bisita na sa dilim at nakangiti lang
Naging pihikan sa pag-ibig, maging sa kaibigan

Napili kong piitan ay ang sarili kong isipan
Kaya maya't maya natataranta sa mga nakaamba na pangamba
Kailangan ng pampakalma ayoko nang maalala ang pagaalala
Nakakawala ng gana, isip ay parang ibong lumilipad
Sa loob ng hawla na gawa sa mga negatibong posibilidad

Habagat na ang ihip, 'pag malamig magkumot
Magdamag nasa isip, masasakit na hugot
Masamang panaginip, ang kalakip ng tulog
Kaharap pagkagising, mas malaking bangungot
Kaya madalas ay...

Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
'Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Minsan gusto ko na lang na mawala na

Minsan lapis at papel ang mas madaling kausap
Sakit sa ulo, ang sabi ng iba ito'y sakit sa utak
Kada gabi nagmamadali na makarating sa ulap
Bukas magkatabi na butas ng ilong may nakatakip na bulak

Balisong sa pulso, kwarenta'y singkong nakatutok sa bibig
Pero parang gusto ko yung kumot nakapulupot sa leeg
Ang gulo ng buong daigdig, wala naman yatang gustong makinig
Mas masarap pang mamundok o kaya magmukmok sa sulok ng pook na liblib

Puno ang dibdib ng kawalan ng pag-asa parang
Kusang sumusuko ang katawan sa mga pasan na wala ng hupa
Para kang sa Alcatraz pumuga, sa taas ay nakakalula
Makaalpas ka man sa mga bara paglabas ay wala nang lupa

At kung makatakas ka man, mahal mo naman sa buhay ang sasakluban
Nakakabuwang, lahat tayo balang araw isa lang ang hahantungan
Kapayapaan sa sarili tsaka ko na lang to natagpuan
Nung ang makitid ko na pagiisip ang siyang nagawa ko na matakbuhan

Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
'Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala
Gusto lang namang kumawala
Ng isip kahit pansamantala
Pero bakit tila mas lumalala
Minsan gusto ko nalang na mawala na

Escape

When will I ever find peace within myself?
Everyday it's just worry, it's like it has no end.

My eyes bleed tears when my heart is wounded.
I want to cry blood so my head will feel lighter.
I want to sleep, I'll just continue tomorrow.
Because you know where the right path is, please show me.

Because I want to see where the present came from.
The future is led by the past.
Punished, imprisoned.
In the past that I grew up in.

Can't wait any longer for the coming of tomorrow.
So I set sail, drifted, and was even caught in a storm.
The waves are crashing and the ship has been breached.
The ceiling of my coffin is full of nail scratches.
I can feel the cold enveloping my bones again.

The wind is blowing, if you're cold, get under the covers.
All night long, painful thoughts are on my mind.
Bad dreams, that come with sleep.
Facing upon waking, a bigger nightmare.
That's why, that's why, that's why...

I just want to break free.
Of my mind, even for a while.
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
I don't know where it's taking me anymore.
I just want to break free.
Of my mind, even for a while.
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
Sometimes I just want to disappear.

Don't limit yourself to just one plan (don't ever, don't ever).
Instead of getting impatient, think carefully about how (all night long, all night long).
I often like to leave instructions to other people.
But it seems I can't follow my own advice.

Silence is my preference.
The surroundings are like a graveyard.
And even though sometimes there are no visitors in the dark and I'm just smiling.
I became choosy in love, even in friendship.

I chose to imprison myself in my own mind.
That's why I'm always panicking because of the looming fear.
I need to calm down, I don't want to remember the worry anymore.
It's making me lose my appetite, my mind is like a bird flying.
Inside a cage made of negative possibilities.

The wind is blowing, if you're cold, get under the covers.
All night long, painful thoughts are on my mind.
Bad dreams, that come with sleep.
Facing upon waking, a bigger nightmare.
That's why often I...

I just want to break free.
Of my mind, even for a while.
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
I don't know where it's taking me anymore.
I just want to break free.
Of my mind, even for a while.
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
Sometimes I just want to disappear.

Sometimes a pencil and paper are easier to talk to.
A headache, others say it's a mental illness.
Every night, I'm in a hurry to reach the clouds.
Tomorrow, the holes in my skull will be covered with cotton.

Butterfly knife on my wrist, forty-five pointed at my mouth.
But I think I like the blanket wrapped around my neck.
The whole world is a mess, no one seems to want to listen.
It's better to go to the mountains or sulk in the corner of a secluded place.

My chest is full of hopelessness as if.
The body voluntarily surrenders to the burdens that have no end.
You're like Alcatraz, escaping, the height is dizzying.
Even if you get past the bars, there's no forgetting when you get out.

And if you do escape, you'll only end up covering for your loved one.
It's maddening, we're all headed for the same end one day.
I only found peace within myself.
When my narrow mind was what I was able to run away from.

I just want to break free.
Of my mind, even for a while.
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
I don't know where it's taking me anymore.
I just want to break free.
Of my mind, even for a while.
But why does it seem to be getting worse?
Sometimes I just want to disappear.