Текст и перевод песни Los Lagartos - Tienes Almorranas

Tienes Almorranas

Te la pasas ahí sentado
En un trono inmaculado
Te lees todo un periodico
Y no sales de ahí

Tus piernas se acalambran
Mas ya no sale nada
Ya no sigas pujando
Pues te vas a obstruir

Te lo han advertido
El médico lo ha dicho
Crees que a ti
No te puede pasar

Pero no te importa
Sigues con tu vicio
Pronto te arrepentirás
Ya verás

De pronto una mañana
Te duelen las entrañas
Y sientes la punzada
Que te hace gritar

Hoy en cada espasmo
Se te va la vida
Y sientes que ni el aire
Por ahí pasará

Todos te preguntan
Que por qué no te sientas
Por qué siempre traes ese cojín
Y tú no contestas
Solo te sonrojas
Y le pides al cielo huir
¡Huir!

Pues tienes almorranas
No se quitan con nada
No existe algo que cure
Ni pastillas ni pomadas

Por obrar con negligencia
Eres caso pa′ la ciencia
No más que un rayo laser
Te las podría quitar

Y ahora en los retretes
No pegas los cachetes
Y ni aunque tú lo intentes
En tu vida podrás

Odias a la cera
La sientes como lija
Y te raspa y te quema
Y te hace llorar

Ni con los laxantes
Ni con dieta blanda
Ni con limpias se quitará

Pues tienes almorranas
No se quitan con nada
No existe algo que cure
Ni pastillas ni pomadas

Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas
Tienes, tienes

Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas

Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas

Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas

Tienes almorrranas
Tienes almorranas
Tienes almorranas

Duele y duele
Tienes almorranas
No se quittan con nada
Tienes almorranas

You've Got Hemorrhoids

You sit there on your throne
An immaculate thrown
You read the whole newspaper
And don't leave there

Your legs go numb
But nothing comes out anymore
Don't keep straining
Because you're going to get constipated

You've been warned
The doctor has said it
You think that you
Can't get them

But you don't care
You keep doing your thing
Soon you'll regret it
You'll see

Suddenly one morning
You get a stomachache
And you feel the pang
That makes you scream

Today in every spasm
Your life is slipping away
And you don't feel like the air
Will pass through there

Everyone asks you
Why don't you sit down
Why do you always bring that cushion
And you don't answer
You just blush
And you ask the heavens to flee
Flee!

Because you've got hemorrhoids
They don't go away with anything
There's nothing that cures
No pills or ointments

For being negligent
You're a case for science
Nothing more than a laser beam
Could remove them

And now in the toilets
You don't kiss the cheeks
And even if you try
You never will

You hate wax
You feel it like sandpaper
And it scrapes and burns you
And makes you cry

Not even with laxatives
Not even with a bland diet
Not even with cleaning will it go away

Because you've got hemorrhoids
They don't go away with anything
There's nothing that cures
No pills or ointments

You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids
You have it, you have it

You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids

You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids

You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids

You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids
You've got hemorrhoids

It hurts and hurts
You've got hemorrhoids
They don't go away with anything
You've got hemorrhoids