Текст и перевод песни Østkyst Hustlers - Ankomst

Ankomst

Folk med slidte sko er misundelige på dem med cykel. Folk med cykel er misundelige på dem med bil. Og folk med bil er misundelige på dem med chauffør. I Danmark sidder der folk kun adskilt af en lille smule vand og skuler ondt til hinanden. Hvordan kan det være at bare fordi menneskene er lidt forskellige, så kan det altid bruges som en dårlig undskyldning for at skændes og slås? Er jyderne virkelig misundelige på københavnerne? Og tror københavnerne virkelig at jyderne er dumme? Sådanne tanker kan være farlige og værst for een selv. For at undervurdere en modstander er den største dumhed af dem alle

Randers. Vi havde nået vores mål
Endelig var vi fremme, Jazzy tog sin sål
Væk fra gaspedalen og motoren brusede af
Vi havde kørt et par hundrede km den dag
Vi havde set os omkring, en ting vi sjældent fik gjort
Vi havde prøvet at lugte hestebæ grisepis og kolort
Vi havde set en del knoldesparkere
Der gik rundt og tyggede drøv på deres braklagte marker
Som om de sætter ære i at gå og være sære
Og så spørger man sig selv om hvor fedt det kan være
Hvorfor har en bondeknold et ordentligt korpus
Hvorfor stoppede civilisationen i Bårhus
Hvorfor kan man bare tydeligt mærke man er bymand
Hvorfor er det hele bare så ufedt i Jylland
De gode arkitekter boede i hvert fald ikke her
For alle huse havde kun tre etager hver
Så hvis ikke de havde skilte kunne det let være sket
At Randers blev forbikørt fuldstændig overset
Men nu var vi i Randers og det var næsten rart
Så var jeg snart fri for at høre Bossy spille smart
Det var klart uden ham var det temmelig meget lettere
At få solgt de der åndssvage helsekosttabletter
"Hold kæft. Jeg har fandeme ikke været så langt væk
Siden en gang i 10. klasse på cykeltur til Holbæk
Gad vide hvornår fanden byggeriet gik i stå?
Skal de aldrig have en by der er til at få øje på?"
"Bossy, de huse er præcis hvad de vil have
For knolde er der heldigvis ikke så mange af
Så tre etager det er rigeligt til staldpiger og bondeknøse."
"Så har de sikkert heller ingen arbejdsløse."
"Næh, problemet er jo mere at de kloge flytter bort."
"Ja, det er da til at fatte. Det havde jeg fandeme også gjort!
Og hvis jeg bliver her for længe vil det nok resultere i
En voldsom galoperende klaustrofobi."
Og han havde ret, Randers var der ikke meget ved
Et åndeligt halvformørket gudsforladt sted
Det hele var for småt, ligesom krympet i vask
Der var gader uden hundelort og rendestenssnask
Ca. fire meter brede, ikke gearet til trafik
Om vi var glade da vi genkendte en Nettobutik
Der var folk der gik på arbejde folk der købte ind
Der var alt hvad der skulle være det var bare meget mindre
Bossy han kunne ikke helt forstå
Hvordan folk kunne gå rundt og være så kiksede at se på
"De ligner deres dyr." Det var Jazzys kommentar
Og de havde i hvert aldrig før set en Jaguar
For hvor end vi kørte hen skulle folk stå og glo
Og vi fik næsten helt medlidenhed med aberne i zoo
Bossy sagde: "Din fætter er da lidt af en snegl
Hvis han bor sådan et sted uden at synes det er en fejl."
"Næh, egentlig hverken eller for han har hvad han vil have
Men apropos min fætter sætter jeg dig snart af
For jeg sagde jeg nok ville være der ved ottetiden."
Jeg fandt et godt sted at holde ind til siden
Jeg sagde: "Jazzy gamle svinger, jeg ringer lige til dig
Når jeg en gang er kommet hjem og inviterer dig på middag."
"Det er da mig der skal give fordi du gav jo i dag."
Så vinkede vi til hænderne var ved at falde af
Og jeg tænkte da jeg så ham blive mindre i mit bakspejl
At det var da en stor fejl med sådan en gang ordgejl
Jeg skulle for fanden ikke have været så flink ved manden
Når vi begge næsten ikke kunne tåle synet af hinanden
Men det var nok det med at man altid skal være venner
Når man siger farvel fordi hvis man nu aldrig ses igen og
Så var sur sidst man sås så var det trist forstås
Men lige her da var det sgu' det værste vås
For det var faktisk min plan at vi ikke skulle ses igen
Og jeg kunne aldrig finde på at kalde Bossy for min ven

Arrival

People with worn-out shoes are envious of those with a bicycle. People with bicycles are envious of those with cars. And people with cars are envious of those with a chauffeur. In Denmark, people are separated only by a small body of water and glare angrily at each other. How can it be that just because people are slightly different, it can always be used as a bad excuse to argue and fight? Are the Jutlanders really envious of the Copenhageners? And do the Copenhageners really think the Jutlanders are stupid? Such thoughts can be dangerous and worst of all for oneself. To underestimate an opponent is the greatest folly of all.

Randers. We had reached our goal,
Finally, we were there, Jazzy took his sole
Away from the gas pedal, the engine roared down,
We had driven a couple of hundred kilometers that day,
We had looked around, something we rarely did,
We had tried to smell horse manure, pig piss, and cabbage,
We had seen quite a few bumpkins
Walking around chewing cud in their fallow fields,
As if they take pride in walking and being weird,
And then one wonders how cool it can be,
Why does a hick have a decent physique,
Why did civilization stop in Bårhus?
Why can you just clearly feel that you are a city man?
Why is everything so uncool in Jutland?
The good architects certainly didn't live here,
Because all the houses had only three floors each,
So if they didn't have signs it could easily have happened,
That Randers was completely overlooked,
But now we were in Randers and it was almost nice,
So I would soon be free from hearing Bossy play smart,
It was clear that without him it was much easier
To sell those lame health food tablets,
"Shut up. I haven't been this far away
Since I was in 10th grade on a bike ride to Holbæk,
I wonder when the hell the construction stopped?
Will they never have a city that you can see?"
"Bossy, those houses are exactly what they want
Because luckily there aren't that many hicks,
So three floors is plenty for milkmaids and farmhands."
"Then they probably don't have any unemployed either."
"No, the problem is more that the smart ones move away."
"Yeah, I can see that. I would have done the same, damn it!
And if I stay here for long it will probably result in
A violent galloping claustrophobia."
And he was right, there wasn't much to Randers,
A spiritually twilight, godforsaken place,
It was all too small, like shrunk in the wash,
There were streets without dog shit and gutter trash,
About four meters wide, not geared for traffic,
How happy we were when we recognized a Netto store,
There were people going to work, people shopping,
There was everything that should be there, it was just much smaller,
Bossy, he couldn't quite understand
How people could walk around and look so goofy,
"They look like their animals." That was Jazzy's comment,
And they had certainly never seen a Jaguar before,
Because wherever we drove people would stand and stare,
And we almost felt sorry for the monkeys at the zoo,
Bossy said: "Your cousin is a bit of a slug,
If he lives in a place like that without thinking it's a mistake."
"No, not really, because he has what he wants,
But speaking of my cousin, I'll drop you off soon,
Because I said I'd be there by eight o'clock."
I found a good place to pull over,
I said, "Jazzy, old pal, I'll call you
Once I get home and invite you to dinner."
"It's me who should treat, because you treated today."
Then we waved until our hands were about to fall off,
And I thought as I watched him grow smaller in my rearview mirror
That it was a big mistake with such a slip of the tongue,
I shouldn't have been so nice to the guy, damn it,
When we both almost couldn't stand the sight of each other,
But it was probably that thing about always being friends
When you say goodbye, because if you never see each other again, and
Then the last one you saw was angry, so it was sad, you know,
But right here and now, it was the worst nonsense,
Because it was actually my plan that we wouldn't see each other again,
And I could never dream of calling Bossy my friend.