Текст и перевод песни Østkyst Hustlers - Nedtur

Nedtur

Nedtur. Det her var mere end jeg kunne klare
Når det endelig skal gå galt, ja så gør det det bare
Jeg kørte rundt en times tid inde på Vesterbro
Jeg bryggede på en plan og den skulle fandeme være god
For jeg skulle bruge stoffer og jeg skulle bruge dem samme aften
Jeg havde ikke nogen penge og kunne ikke nå at skaffe dem
Her i byen skulle man være en god skuespiller
For at sælge drugs der ikke var drugs men vitaminpiller
Mit rygte jeg havde brugt så lang tid på at skabe
Kunne jeg ikke bare satse når jeg sikkert ville tabe
Så at prøve at sælge pillerne var helt uforsvarligt
Og temmelig sikkert også ganske sundhedsfarligt
Selvfølgelig kunne jeg knuse dem og så ud ved Sverigesbåden
Den gik altid men det var heller ikke måden
Måske man kunne få solgt et par breve eller fem
Men de skal altid lige snuse til det inden de tager hjem
Faren for at de skulle komme igen var godt nok lille
Men jeg ville stadig stå tilbage med et ordentlig læs piller
Stå tilbage med helsekost var ikke min kop te
Så derfor tænkte jeg videre og så fik jeg en idé
Problemet var mit fjæs der var for kendt i den her by
Til jeg kunne lave noget lort så jeg skulle finde en ny
Et smut til Jylland ville nok være turen værd
For det kunne godt blive svært at finde nogen der var så dumme her
Men Århus – hovedstaden for bonderøve
Det var da nok noget nær det perfekte sted at prøve
Og dog, der kunne godt være nogen der kendte nogen
Med kontakt til den rigtige side af Lillebæltsbroen
Så ville det alligevel kun dreje sig om tid
Før end alle ville vide at jeg gik og solgte klid
Næh jeg skulle finde mig et sted hvor der var traktortræk og halbal
Bonderøve ad libitum der kendte lidt til tjald
Byen den skulle ligge mellem Sønderborg og Skagen
Randers måske. Ja, Randers det var sagen
Alle kendte alle og ingen kendte nogen udefra
Så det skulle være muligt at finde en eller anden nar
Som det nok ikke var så svært at sælge hele molevitten til
Og være væk før han fandt ud af det var vitaminpiller.
Nedtur. Det her var mere end jeg kunne klare
Havde tabt i pool til et par halvsvansede narre
Jeg var flad som en kat på en motorvej
Al sad i døren og han ventede på mig
Og ved siden af der sad de tre rockerdrenge og drak
Mens de delte en chillum og en motorcykelsnak
Og selvom Al havde det godt ude i sommervejret
Havde han det sikkert endnu bedre med at give mig nogen på bærret
Og de tre på trappetrinet de sad der og lignede
Nogen der godt ville være med til at give mig nogen på skrinet
Og bagdøren den gik heller ikke for så
Skulle jeg ind igen til de der to håndværkertosser
Og gå derind igen det ville jeg ikke så gerne
For de var eddermame nogle ordentlige jern
Men Al og rockerdrengene var endnu større
Så jeg anede overhovedet ikke hvad fanden jeg skulle gøre
Nu fik Al øje på mig fra der hvor han sad
Han kom ind og sagde: "Nå, har du penge eller hvad?"
Jeg smilte det største smil jeg i mit liv havde smilt
Og sagde: "Selvfølgelig, mand, du kender mig. Det gik da for vildt.
Du ved jeg scorede boxen og du ved jeg er en haj.
Men inden du får dem vil jeg lige gå ud og slå en streg."
Han sagde: "Ikke på nogen måde. Du kan pisse når jeg har fået
Mine penge. Det er længe siden tiden er gået."
Jeg sagde: "Klart, Al. Selvfølgelig. Det er ikke noget du behøver sige."
Så eksede jeg i benene sagde: "Shit! Nej, jeg løber lige."
Jeg vendte mig mod lokummet, løb af sted og før
End han fik nået at sige noget var jeg nået hen til døren
Jeg gik ind på pissoiret. Hold da kæft hvor der stank
Men det var stadig noget bedre end at blive og få bank
Så der stod jeg blandt graffiti og kondomautomater
Lige over tønden var en stor ventilator
Fandt min skruetrækker sådan en var altid god at have
Jeg stillede mig op på brættet skruede ventilatoren af
Hullet det var smalt men ikke så smalt jeg ikke kunne slange mig
Nu kunne Al i hvert fald ikke længere nå at fange mig
Så sikkert som en kat landede jeg på fire poter
Men længere nede af gaden stod der fire idioter
Det var rockerne og Al der havde hørt mine tumulter
Jeg piskede af sted og idioterne forfulgte mig
Men heldigvis så kunne jeg løbe stærkere end dem
Og efter fem minutters løben var jeg næsten nået hjem.
Pludselig krævede vejen fuld koncentration
For ude for enden af Jaguaren der stod en person
Jeg skulle bare over gaden, men der havde vi sgu' balladen
For når man ikke kigger før man krydser gaden
Så er skaden uundgåelig og det var den også her
Facaden hvirvlede rundt og et sekund var jeg passager
Bremserne de hvinede og det bagerste skred ud
Og med et klask slog han hovedet mod min forrude
Lige så hurtigt han var røget op så hurtigt røg han ned igen
Jeg skyndte mig ud af bilen og løb hen mod forenden
Av, hvor gjorde det ondt da jeg landede på vejen
Jeg hørte nogen råbe om en der skulle have nogen på kajen
Og jeg så et fjæs forvredent i en hæslig grimasse
Han var vred og stod og fablede om en sygekasse
"Hvad fanden er det for en måde at gå og slumre i trafikken på?
Dit klummer hvis du så dig for før du skulle ud på gaden at gå.
Men næh nej. Man går da bare hvor det ellers passer én.
Jeg burde brække både dig og dine lange spasserben!"
"Jazzy!" sagde jeg. Og så blev han tavs
Og jeg benyttede pausen til at sige: "Jazzy, godavs.
Hvordan går det gamle dreng? Det er sgu' ellers nogle år siden.
Det må da være helt tilbage i folkeskoletiden."
Jeg havde lige været så opsat på at give ham nogen los
I sine kugler da jeg så hvem det var. "Er det Bossy?"
"Ja, den gamle svinger Bossy han lever sgu' endnu.
Og det ser umiddelbart ud til det samme gør du.
Og måske lidt for godt endda. Hvis er dyret der?"
"Dyret?", "Ja, Jag'en", "Den er skræddersyet til far her."
"Ikke dit tøj. Jeg mener slæden din klovn."
"Slæden?", "Ja, øsen. Er det din vogn?"
"Hvad er min vogn?", "Ja, den jeg lige var oppe på."
"Nå ja. Det er min.", "Var det så svært at forstå?"
Jeg var kommet op at stå mens vi havde snakket om kareten
Jeg så de fire der gik og ledte efter bankekandidaten
Og det vil sige mig. Jeg måtte se at finde på noget
"Jazzy, vi skal sludre om den tid der er gået."
"Bossy, egentlig har jeg travlt lige nu.
En anden dag måske. Det var hyggeligt du. Vi ses."
Han gik hen og tog i dørhåndtaget
Men når de fire fandt mig, så ville jeg få tørre flade
Jeg måtte have fart på nu. "Jazzy, giver du et lift?"
Og jeg kunne se hans falske smil det blev helt stift
Bossy han var god nok et eller andet sted
Men han var ikke god nok til at jeg ville have ham med
For forretninger og Bossy er som remoulade og leverpostej:
Må aldrig sættes sammen men kan bruges hver for sig
Så hver for sig måtte det være hvis jeg skulle sælge de der tabletter
Jeg begyndte at fortælle om en fjern fætter
Snakken var for meget for det drejede sig om sekunder
Før end Al og de tre rockerdrenge
Der gik rundt og kiggede under hver bil og endevendte hver skraldespand
Fik øje på mig så jeg sagde: "Jazzy min mand.
Hvor end din fætter bor så skal jeg af et sted på vejen."
Jeg tænkte at så længe remouladen og postejen
Ikke nåede at smelte sammen kunne det godt gå endda
Så jeg spurgte: "Betaler du for benzinen eller hvad?"
"Ja betaler og betaler. Hvis bare vi kommer af sted
Skal jeg nok sørge for at din vogn får noget at æde."
Det var godt nok i sidste øjeblik at han gav sig
For de havde set mig og jeg så at de ville have mig
Og jeg fulgte dem i spejlet til de opgav forfølgelsen
Så lænede jeg mig tilbage og nød følelsen

Downer

Downer. This was more than I could handle,
When it finally goes wrong, well, it just does.
I drove around for an hour inside Vesterbro,
I was brewing a plan, and it had to be damn good.
Because I needed drugs, and I needed them that same evening,
I didn't have any money and couldn't get any in time.
In this city, you had to be a good actor
To sell drugs that weren't drugs, but vitamin pills.
My reputation, which I had spent so long building,
I couldn't just risk it when I would surely lose.
So trying to sell the pills was completely irresponsible,
And pretty damn dangerous to people's health.
Of course, I could crush them and head out to the ferry to Sweden,
It always worked, but that wasn't the way to go either.
Maybe I could sell a couple of bags or five,
But they always have to sniff it before they go home.
The risk of them coming back was small enough,
But I would still be left with a whole bunch of pills.
Being stuck with health food wasn't my cup of tea,
So I thought about it some more, and then I got an idea.
The problem was my face, too well-known in this city,
Before I could pull something off, I had to find a new one.
A trip to Jutland would probably be worth it,
Because it could be hard to find anyone that stupid here.
But Aarhus – the capital of bumpkins,
That was probably the perfect place to try.
And yet, there could be someone who knew someone
With connections to the right side of the Little Belt Bridge.
Then it would only be a matter of time
Before everyone knew I was walking around selling bran.
No, I had to find myself a place where there were tractor pulls and barn dances,
Bumpkins galore who knew a little about weed.
The town should be somewhere between Sønderborg and Skagen,
Randers maybe. Yeah, Randers, that was the ticket.
Everyone knew everyone, and no one knew anyone from outside,
So it should be possible to find some fool
Who wouldn't be too hard to sell the whole damn thing to,
And be gone before he found out it was vitamin pills.
Downer. This was more than I could handle.
Had lost in pool to a couple of half-assed fools.
I was flat broke, like a cat on a highway.
Al was sitting by the door, waiting for me,
And next to him sat those three biker boys, drinking,
While they shared a chillum and some biker talk.
And even though Al was having a good time in the summer weather,
He'd probably have an even better time giving me a beating.
And the three on the steps, they sat there looking like
They'd be happy to join in on giving me a beatdown.
And the back door was out of the question because then
I'd have to go back in to those two construction worker morons,
And going back in there was something I really didn't want to do,
Because they were some damn tough guys.
But Al and the biker boys were even bigger,
So I had absolutely no idea what the hell to do.
Now Al spotted me from where he was sitting.
He came in and said, "Well, do you have the money, or what?"
I smiled the biggest smile I had ever smiled in my life
And said, "Of course, man, you know me. It went wild.
You know I scored the box, and you know I'm a shark.
But before you get it, I'm just gonna go out and take a leak."
He said, "No way. You can piss when I've got
My money. It's been a while; time's up."
I said, "Sure, Al. Of course. You don't have to tell me."
Then I jumped up and said, "Shit! No, I'll just run."
I turned toward the bathroom, ran off, and before
He had time to say anything, I had reached the door.
I went into the bathroom. Damn, it stunk in there,
But it was still better than staying and getting beaten up.
So there I stood, among graffiti and condom machines.
Right above the toilet was a large fan.
Found my screwdriver; one of those was always good to have.
I stood up on the toilet seat, unscrewed the fan.
The hole was narrow, but not so narrow that I couldn't squeeze through.
Now Al could no longer catch me.
As surely as a cat lands on all fours, I landed.
But further down the street stood four idiots.
It was the bikers and Al, who had heard my commotion.
I took off, and the idiots chased after me,
But luckily, I could run faster than them,
And after five minutes of running, I had almost reached home.
Suddenly, the road demanded my full concentration,
Because at the end of the Jaguar stood a person.
I just had to cross the street, but there we had the problem:
Because when you don't look before you cross the street,
The damage is inevitable, and it was here too.
The facade whirled around, and for a second I was a passenger.
The brakes screeched, and the rear end skidded out,
And with a thud, he hit his head against my windshield.
Just as quickly as he had flown up, he flew down again.
I rushed out of the car and ran toward the front.
Ouch, how much it hurt when I landed on the road.
I heard someone yelling about someone who should get beaten up,
And I saw a face contorted in a hideous grimace.
He was angry and stood there rambling about health insurance.
"What the hell kind of way is that to sleepwalk in traffic?
You moron, if you looked before you went out on the street.
But no, no. You just walk wherever it suits you.
I ought to break both you and your long walking legs!"
"Jazzy!" I said. And then he went silent.
And I took the pause to say, "Jazzy, hello.
How are things, old boy? It's been a few years.
It must have been back in our school days."
I had just been so set on giving him a good one
In his balls when I saw who it was. "Is that Bossy?"
"Yeah, the old swinger Bossy is still alive.
And it seems you are too.
And maybe a little too well. Is that your beast?"
"Beast?", "Yeah, the Jag", "It's tailored for daddy here."
"Not your clothes. I mean the sled, you clown."
"Sled?", "Yeah, the ride. Is that your car?"
"What's my car?", "Yeah, the one I was just on top of."
"Well, yeah. It's mine.", "Was that so hard to understand?"
I had gotten to my feet while we were talking about the car.
I saw the four who were walking around looking for the beating candidate,
And that meant me. I had to think of something.
"Jazzy, we need to chat about the time that's passed."
"Bossy, I'm actually in a hurry right now.
Maybe another day. It was nice seeing you. See ya."
He went and grabbed the door handle.
But when those four found me, I'd be beaten to a pulp.
I had to get moving now. "Jazzy, will you give me a lift?"
And I could see his fake smile go completely stiff.
Bossy, he was a good guy in a way,
But he wasn't good enough that I wanted him with me.
Because business and Bossy are like remoulade and liverwurst:
Never put them together but can be used separately.
So separately it had to be if I was going to sell those pills.
I started talking about a distant cousin.
The talk was too much; it was a matter of seconds
Before Al and the three biker boys
Who were walking around looking under every car and turning over every piece of junk
Spotted me, so I said, "Jazzy, my man.
Wherever your cousin lives, I need to get off somewhere along the way."
I figured as long as the remoulade and the liverwurst
Didn't melt together, it could work out after all.
So I asked, "Are you paying for the gas or what?"
"Yes, paying and paying. If we can just get going,
I'll make sure your car gets something to eat."
It was good enough that he gave in at the last minute
Because they had spotted me, and I saw that they wanted me.
And I watched them in the mirror until they gave up the chase.
Then I leaned back and enjoyed the feeling.