Текст и перевод песни まるりとりゅうが - わけじゃない

わけじゃない

誰も通らない道を探して
無理矢理独りになった
気づけば身体も重くなって
路地にすっと座った

光に群がる虫を払って
無理矢理独りになった
更新されないSNSを
ずっと指でこすった

感情の矛先は
見つかるはずもなくて
ただ独りただ独り
独り独り独りだった

誰にも分からない
分かって欲しいわけじゃない
でも心の拠り所きっと探してた
あの頃
君と描いた願っていた茜色の未来は
黒く染まっていた
影だけ残して

ふと携帯に映りこんだ
僕の顔が怖かった
一番近くにいたのに
気づけば一番遠かった

空虚な僕満員電車
相性ほんと最悪だなって
そんなこと言っても家帰れないし
改札へ戻った

感情紛らそうと
試しに試してみたけど
なにしてもなにしても
なにしても僕独りだった

巻き戻せるなら
巻き戻したいわけじゃない
でも君と過ごした日々は消えないしな
あの日の
君の笑顔も言葉も全て偽りだったのなら
涙もでないや
帰りたくもないな

もしあのまま一緒にいたとして
僕らが永遠を誓ったって
もう上辺だけの関係になってたと思うよ
それでも謝る君を見るのは辛かった
終わりにしよ

「さよなら」じゃなくて
「またね」にしたいわけじゃない
でも今更本音で話せる訳もない

誰にも分からない
分かって欲しいわけじゃない
でも心の拠り所きっと探してた
あの頃
君と描いた願っていた茜色の未来は
黒く染まっていた
影だけ残して
僕だけを残して

Not for You

Searching for a path that I can tread alone,
I forced my solitude.
Unbeknownst to me, a heaviness laid upon my frame,
And I found myself collapsed in an alleyway.

Swatting away the bugs that swarmed the light,
I forced my solitude.
Endlessly refreshing my social media,
I swiped my finger constantly.

The object of my feelings,
They were nowhere to be found.
Just alone, alone, alone,
Alone, alone, alone.

No one can understand,
And I don't need their sympathy.
But still, all that time I'd been searching
For a place to belong.
The rose-tinted future we painted,
Had faded to black.
All that remained was a shadow.

Suddenly, my own reflection appeared on my phone,
And I was startled by the fear in my eyes.
Once so close to you,
I had somehow become so distant.

Emptiness in my heart, packed into a crowded train,
I thought to myself, "We're a truly terrible match."
But with nowhere else to go,
I headed back to the ticket gate.

Desperately trying to distract myself,
I tried one thing after another.
But no matter what I did,
I remained alone.

If I could rewind time,
I might not rewind.
But the days we spent together—I can't forget.
That day,
If your smile, your words—if it was all a lie,
Then there's not even a point in crying.
And I don't even want to go home.

If we had stayed together,
Even if we had pledged our eternal love,
I think we would have ended up just going through the motions.
Even so, it was hard to watch you apologize.
Let's end this.

I don't want to say "goodbye,"
But I can't say "see you again."
And there's no way I can be honest with you now.

No one can understand,
And I don't need their sympathy.
But still, all that time I'd been searching
For a place to belong.
The rose-tinted future we painted,
Had faded to black.
All that remained was a shadow.
All that remained was me.