Текст и перевод песни 宇宙人 feat. 熊仔 - Bon Bon Bon Bon

Bon Bon Bon Bon

校長 各位主任 各位學弟 痾 大家好
今天非常榮幸可以再次回到母校
痾 不過我出門的時候忘了帶演講稿
不然 就聽我隨便聊一聊吧

學弟學弟 是否覺得空虛
這裡那裡 都沒人懂你
制服褲裡 有個小小聲音
在告訴你 我要制服少女

每天在公車裡聞她的香氣
在補習班裡借她的鉛筆
週末看她Instagram的更新
週一騙她說：「我們昨天離的很近」

欸 告白用力被拒絕
腦袋裝不下牛頓力學
少女情懷就像多元入學
搞不懂居然還要付錢

黃白綠格子直條紋
像個癡漢排隊在各大校門
說話像跳針 身體像標本
這是我青春悲劇的腳本

0300341 學號代表我的男子氣
精力值爆表有三十億
最後還是輸給了愛情
所以學弟 要爭氣
浪漫就當浪費生命
沒有情人就當有錢人
當不了名人 也可以教英文

考試成績(BonBonBonBon)
老師的臉(BonBonBonBon)
口袋沒錢(BonBonBonBon)
我的初戀(BonBonBonBon)
考試成績(BonBonBonBon)
老師的臉(BonBonBonBon)
口袋沒錢(BonBonBonBon)
我的初戀(BonBonBonBon)

學弟學弟 面對升學壓力
你別覺得洩氣
教你幾招解題絕技要認真聽
師承我的恩師曾政清

他說 同學身為高三生
每天過得超煩悶
每天被那刁鑽科目搞得腰酸
又背痛快要爆肝還沒懂
呼吸困難像得高山症

但考大學 本來就像攻頂聖母峰
登山座標 你要隨時注重
別到了三千公尺才舉手跟老師說
老師 我忘記帶氧氣筒
抵達山峰 你以為已經結束廝殺
沒想到山頂還有一隻酷斯拉
不是吧 因此你要儲備火力
處變不驚 無限苦練 達到無懈可擊

證明題要前後夾擊 中間唬爛
面對難題別像一個傻逼 在那苦幹
學會武斷 放棄完美追求高分
公式要背好需要時腦中尻出讓答對率飆升

記得帶准考證
我們山頂勝利會師 同志們上陣
祝大家會寫的都寫對
不會寫都猜對
沒寫的都送分 get higher day

考試成績(BonBonBonBon)
老師的臉(BonBonBonBon)
口袋沒錢(BonBonBonBon)
我的初戀(BonBonBonBon)
考試成績(BonBonBonBon)
老師的臉(BonBonBonBon)
口袋沒錢(BonBonBonBon)
我的初戀(BonBonBonBon)

學長問你 幹嘛要談戀愛
請問你是他的未來還是備胎

來 學長問你 為什麼要升學
是要躲當兵還是為以後要掙錢

學長教你 記得靠爸
讀書很累 但電動還是要打
相信學長 因為學長走在最前面
最後學長不是給你叫 是留給學妹

考試成績(BonBonBonBon)
老師的臉(BonBonBonBon)
口袋沒錢(BonBonBonBon)
我的初戀(BonBonBonBon)
考試成績(BonBonBonBon)
老師的臉(BonBonBonBon)
口袋沒錢(BonBonBonBon)
我的初戀(BonBonBonBon)

Bon Bon Bon Bon

Mr. Principal, all the department heads, all the underclassmen, yeah, everyone, hello
It's truly an honor to be back on campus
Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my speech when I left the house
So I'll just chat with you guys real quick

Underclassman, underclassman, I can tell you're lost
Nobody gets you, not here, not back home
You can hear a little voice in your uniform pants
Telling you, I want a school girl

Every day on the bus, I smell her perfume
In cram school, I borrow her pencil
On the weekend, I check her Instagram feed
On Monday, I lie and say, "We were so close yesterday"

Yo, I confessed and got rejected hard
My brain can't handle Newtonian physics
A girl's heart is like selective college admissions
I don't get it, and I still have to pay for it

Yellow, white, green, striped tie
Like a pervert, I line up outside every school gate
Repeating myself like a broken record, moving like a zombie
This is the script of my teenage tragedy

0300341, my student ID number represents my masculinity
My energy level is off the charts, thirty billion
But in the end, I still lost to love
So underclassmen, you better get pumped
Romance is a waste of time
If you don't have a lover, pretend you're rich
If you can't be famous, you can teach English

Test scores (BonBonBonBon)
The teacher's face (BonBonBonBon)
Empty pockets (BonBonBonBon)
My first love (BonBonBonBon)
Test scores (BonBonBonBon)
The teacher's face (BonBonBonBon)
Empty pockets (BonBonBonBon)
My first love (BonBonBonBon)

Underclassmen, underclassmen, facing the pressure of college applications
Don't get discouraged
I'm gonna teach you some killer test-taking tricks, listen up
My mentor, the great Zeng Zhengqing

He said, my classmates, as high school seniors
Every day is super stressful
Every day, you get your butt kicked by those crazy subjects
Your back hurts, you're about to have a heart attack, and you still don't get it
It's hard to breathe, like you have altitude sickness

But college entrance exams are like climbing Mount Everest
You have to pay close attention to your coordinates
Don't wait until you're three thousand meters up to raise your hand and say
Teacher, I forgot my oxygen tank
When you reach the summit, you think you're home free
But guess what? There's a Godzilla on top of the mountain
No way, that's why you need to build up your firepower
Stay calm, practice endlessly, become invincible

For proof-based questions, attack from both sides and bluff in the middle
Don't be an idiot and struggle with difficult questions
Learn to be decisive, give up on perfection, and aim for a high score
Memorize the formulas and pull them out of your head when you need them to boost your answer rate

Don't forget your exam pass
We'll meet at the top of the mountain, comrades, let's do this
I wish you all the best on the written part
And good luck guessing on the multiple choice
And for the ones you didn't answer, they'll give you the points, get higher day

Test scores (BonBonBonBon)
The teacher's face (BonBonBonBon)
Empty pockets (BonBonBonBon)
My first love (BonBonBonBon)
Test scores (BonBonBonBon)
The teacher's face (BonBonBonBon)
Empty pockets (BonBonBonBon)
My first love (BonBonBonBon)

Senior asks you, why are you in a relationship?
Are you his future or his spare tire?

Come on, senior asks you, why are you going to college?
Are you trying to avoid the draft or make money in the future?

Senior teaches you, remember to rely on daddy
Studying is tiring, but you still have to play video games
Trust senior, because senior is ahead of you
Senior is not for you, it is for the juniors

Test scores (BonBonBonBon)
The teacher's face (BonBonBonBon)
Empty pockets (BonBonBonBon)
My first love (BonBonBonBon)
Test scores (BonBonBonBon)
The teacher's face (BonBonBonBon)
Empty pockets (BonBonBonBon)
My first love (BonBonBonBon)