Текст и перевод песни 梁文福 - 歷史考試前夕

歷史考試前夕

如果秦始皇烧书都烧完
我不必读到三点半
如果周公真的忙着治天下
何必不断催我入梦乡
三闾大夫不投汨罗江
卖粽子老王生活怎么办
如果楚霸王当年不到乌江
隔壁班刘邦不会这么嚣张
西施不浣纱 昭君不和番
现代的古典美人做何打算
如果刘备哭不出诸葛亮
会不会闹出一阵剧本荒
只看过薛丁山 偏要考安禄山
知道冯宝宝她演过杨玉环
若非十二金牌将岳飞来调返
今天还吃不吃到油条香
我吃过月饼当然知道朱元璋
吃榴梿知道郑和下西洋
胡金铨的戏里听过东西厂
看金庸小说知道袁崇焕
只叹林则徐烧鸦片烧不完
西太后偏偏相信义和团
珍妃不该嫁给那个光绪皇
几千年等到一个孙中山
万里长城长 没有历史长
考试题目比那丝路还弯
五胡乱华乱 我的脑筋更乱
心情比那个八国联军慌
多少年的改变已经很习惯
多少次革命总是革不完
谢天谢地近代史老师讲不完
下一代历史考试不敢想像

History Exam Eve

Darling, if Emperor Qin burns all books
I won't have to stay up till 3:30
If Duke of Zhou was truly busy stabilizing the country,
Why keep urging me to sleep?
If Qu Yuan didn't jump off the Miluo River,
How would the uncle selling rice dumplings make a living?
If Lord Xiang Yu didn't reach Wujia,
Liu Bang in the next class wouldn't be this smug
If Xishi doesn't wash clothes and Wang Zhaojun doesn't marry,
What will the elegant beauties of the 21st century do?
If Liu Bei failed to cry in front of Zhuge Liang,
Would there be a shortage of scripts?
I have only read about Xue Ding Shan and they test me on An Lu Shan
I know that Feng Baobao played Yang Yuhuan,
If the Twelve Golden edicts didn't recall Yue Fei,
Would youtiao still be on the breakfast menu today?
I eat mooncakes so of course I know Zhu Yuanzhang
I eat durian so I know that Zheng He explored the oceans
I have heard Hu Jinquan's opera about the Eastern Depot and Western Depot
I know about Yuan Chonghuan from Jin Yong's novels
It's just that Lin Zexu couldn't smoke out all of the opium
The Empress Dowager Cixi just had to trust the Boxer Rebellion
Zhen Fei should not have married the Guangxu Emperor
After waiting thousands of years, finally came Sun Yat-sen
The Great Wall of China is long, but not as long as history
The exam questions are more twisted than the Silk Road
Northern China was ruled by five barbarian tribes and my mind is in a mess
I am more lost than the Eight-Power Allied Forces
There has been so many changes but you get used to it
So many revolutions, but there are still many to go
Thanks to the heavens and the earth that the modern history teacher can't go through it all
I can't imagine the future history exams will be like