Lyrics Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song) - Monty Python

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen
Here′s a little number I tossed off recently at the Caribbean

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn′t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world′s biggest prick

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife′s best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock

But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won′t come back
Thank you very much