Lyrics Sick of Suffering - Rittz

I don't even know if I'm here anymore
Like my body's here, but my spirit disappeared
I wish I could retrace my steps
And place where I went wrong (Please help me)
I wish that you could save me, but I may be far too gone
Put me out my misery

All my life drug addict would survive
Never see 35, call me Jesus Blanco
Put a crown on it,
Drink up all the Crown Royal and the Grey Goose Vodka
You know you hate life
When you pray that you faint and remain unconscious
But you can't get thе job done
Put a shotgun barrel to your face, what causеd this?
It's my fault, it's always been that way,
Since I was a kid, I always been a fuck up
Eavesdropping on my parents tryna to discuss what they could do to me,
Ass whoopings haven't done much
Felt like God was a man with a giant ass dick,
So I'm prayin' that I stop gettin' butt fucked
But I'm sayin' something different out loud,
Really thinkin' he might punish me for sayin' all this fucked up
Thought I would grow up one day and show up mom and dad,
"Look, I'm not the loser you knew"
Got a deal when I turned 32,
But they still feel embarrassed for the music I do
How I talk, how I dress,
How they thought my success would be gone in a second,
I'd screw it up too
Wishin' they never would've said that shit (You're right)
'Cause everything they assumed is comin' true
There were times when I blew all the money and of course I could save,
But I knew there was more to be made
Makin' sure that I take care of my homeboys in a hole,
They were broke from the choices that they made
By now I should have like 400k in the bank,
'Cause I'm free from my contract
But the money that I got to start a company was fronted,
Didn't cover my recovery, I'm about to fail a drug test, fuck this