paroles de chanson Duck II (Defended) - Zach Sherwin
Chapter
two.
I
thought,
"Sacre
bleu!
Unless
the
duck's
adopted
soon,
The
webfoot
will
get
his
neck
put
on
a
block
And
lopped
in
two!
They'll
cleave
and
hew
him;
Leave
him
in
ruins
Like
music
from
Houston,
He'll
be
chopped,
and
screwed.
And
since
Ben
the
farm
director
told
me
None
of
the
shelters
in
New
Mexico
Would
give
him
a
rescue
home
I
thought
"I'll
get
my
phone
and
start
Tracking
down
assistance
Acting
like
a
phallic
cornea."
(A
private
eye.)
I
began
in
Acton,
California.
"Hi,
you've
reached
the
Farm
Sanctuary.
This
is
Theresa."
"Yeah,
hello.
My
name
is
Zach.
It's
nice
to
meetcha.
Can
I
beseech
ya
On
behalf
of
a
creature
that
I
just
met?
A
duck
who
eluded
brutal
canine
attacks,
But
still
will
be
hacked
up
and
dined
on?
It's
unfair,
and
unkind,
and
honestly,
an
anticlimax!"
Somehow,
He
gave
the
slip
to
fangs
that
dripped
With
drops
of
dog
saliva.
He's
an
awesome
improviser
like
MacGyver.
Made
it
out
the
frying
pan
And
now
the
plan
is
still
to
toss
him
in
the
fire
Even
though
he's
like
a
barnyard
Holocaust
survivor!"
Theresa
said,
"I'm
sorry!
He
really
sounds
impressive.
But
male
ducks
a/k/a
drakes
are
too
aggressive.
Yeah
They
can
be
very,
very
aggressive
And
we
have
chickens
we
wouldn't
want
him
to
mess
with
We
got
peace
to
keep
We
don't
need
your
duck
and
our
hens
Going
beak
to
beak
Yeah
I
bet
that
you
could
find
Some
other
rescue
that
would
help
ya
But
New
Mexico
isn't
known
for
having
too
many
shelters
No
So
when
we
hang
up
the
phone
I
am
gonna
Send
over
a
list
of
sanctuaries
out
in
Arizona
These,
places
might
be
willing
to
adopt
him
He's,
special.
Gotta
get
the
point
across
to
'em
Please,
take
my
suggestion
when
you
talk
to
'em:
SAY
THAT
THING
ABOUT
THE
HOLOCAUST
TO
'EM!
I'm
serious.
Tell
everybody
else
you
talk
to
he's
like
a
Holocaust
survivor,
it's
gonna
seal
the
deal."
"Wait,
I
can't
tell
if
you're
joking
right
now."
"I'm
100%
serious."
She
sent
the
list
I
called
a
likely-seeming
candidate:
A
spot
close
to
Flagstaff
In
the
Grand
Canyon
State.
"Hello
this
is
Cody."
"Hi,
I
met
a
duck
who's
slated
to
die
After
evading
a
violent
fate."
Then
what
the
hell,
I
gave
it
a
try:
I
said
"He
basically
survived
the
Holocaust?"
And
crossed
my
fingers,
then
Cody
said
"We'll
take
him!
You
can
go
ahead
and
bring
him
in."
Theresa
KNEW
that
line
would
keep
these
people
from
declining!
I'm
no
fan
of
WWII
but
that's
a
tiny
silver
lining.
Cody
went
on,
"You're
lucky
to
connect
with
me.
Lots
of
places
won't
take
a
drake;
They
can
be
aggressive
sexually."
Whoa.
The
plot
had
just
heated
up
and
thickened.
Is
THAT
what
Ben
had
meant
when
he
said,
"Beating
up
the
chickens?"
I
said,
"Full
disclosure:
I
won't
bluff
or
pretend.
I've
been
told
that
this
duck
tends
to
be
rough
with
the
hens."
I
thought
Cody's
offer
might
be
shredded
to
confetti
But
instead
he
said,
"Ha!
I
like
this
guy
already."
Direct
quote
from
Cody!
Animal
folks
are
quirky
I
didn't
question
too
closely
Cause
now
I
had
a
haven
that
Brutus
would
be
safe
in
I
could
save
him
If
I
could
just
arrange
some
transportation
'Cause
Flagstaff
is
six
and
a
half
hours'
drive
From
the
barn
where
Brutus
was
stashed
at
Not
close,
no
sir
And
I
wasn't
so
sure
I
could
find
a
chauffeur
Of
whom
I
could
ask
that.
So
although
Ben
had
said
that
all
those
local
sanctuaries
were
Wary
of
the
duck
like
he
was
hazmat
I
thought
it
couldn't
hurt
to
take
a
second
pass
at
So
I
called
a
place
smack
dab
in
Santa
Fe
to
have
a
chat.
"Kindred
Spirits,
this
is
Ulla."
"I'll
get
down
to
brass
tacks.
I
met
a
duck
who's
on
the
execution
fast
track.
He's
a
Holocaust-surviving
sex
offender.
Think
Schindler's
List
meets
Clockwork
Orange
meets
Aflac."
"HE
SOUNDS
FANTASTAC!
We'll
take
him!"
Of
course
that's
a
comedically
heightened
exaggeration
But
after
all
his
trials
and
tribulations,
Brutus
was
in
the
clear!
"Except,"
Ulla
said,
"We
can't
pick
him
up.
You'll
have
to
bring
him
here."
That
was
no
prob.
I
called
Nate.
You
recall
Nate.
I
said
"Good
news!
The
duck's
saved.
We
stopped
death.
We
stalled
fate.
I
found
him
a
home
close
by.
He'll
be
in
good
hands
like
Allstate.
But
he
is
gonna
need
a
ride
there.
Could
you
help
out?
Could
you
haul
freight?
It's
right
outside
of
Santa
Fe."
And
Nate
went,
"Nice.
Yeah,
okay.
I
could
probably
drive
thataway
Maybe
like
Friday
or
Saturday?"
I
won't
deny,
I
felt
delated
I
hoped
he'd
understand
and
say,
"I'm
so
inspired,
I
can't
delay!
I
leavin'!
Arriba!
Andele!"
But
he
was
my
only
chance
to
save
the
day!
So
I
said,
"Great!
Sure
That
rocks!
What
would
you
plan
to
transport
him
in?
Pet
carrier?
Cardboard
box?"
And
you
will
not
believe
his
reply:
"Oh.
I
don't
know...
I
guess
I'd
throw
him
in
my
trunk
and
drive
slow.
That's
not
a
lie,
though;
It's
unembellished
fact.
What
the
hell
would
have
happened
if
I
HADN'T
asked?
Brutus
clings
to
life
like
Superglue
and
then
En
route
to
New
Jerusalem
His
pooch
is
screwed
in
the
boot
of
this
dude's
Subaru?!
"Ahem,"
I
said,
"Gosh,
Nate,
that
kinda
sounds
not
great.
Maybe
ask
around
and
see
if
someone
has
a
dog
crate?
And
PLEASE
keep
me
posted."
"For
sure,"
he
assured
me.
But
I
heard
nothing
Wednesday
and
not
a
word
Thursday.
I
could
feel
the
momentum
melt,
slip,
and
drop
Tick
tock,
close
to
twelve
on
the
apocalypse
clock
Gloom
bloomed
darkly.
Doom
loomed
starkly.
To
be
concluded.
Stay
tuned
for
part
III.
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