Текст песни Fuckin' Up My Christmas - MC Chris
Steve
Martin:
See
this
is
the
way
I
meet
girls
y'know,
by
being
cool
and,
I've
always
had
this
problem
with
girls
and
that
is.and
I'm
sure
everybody
has
with
members
of
the
opposite
sex
in
this
case
that
would
be
a
girl.
And
uhh,
y'know,
you
could
start
talking
to
'em
and
you
can
be
real
cool
and
real
confident
up
to
a
point.
Then
you
start
to
ask
them
out
or
something
and
it's
like,
you
lose
control
of
your
lips
y'know
and
you
get
nervous
and
mealy-mouthed
and
y'know
it's
like.
Yeah
I'll
be
goin'
to
London
for
a
couple
of
weeks
and
then
umm,
hmm,
I'll
be
back
here
in
two
wee.no
I
gotta
stop
in
New
York
for
six
days
for
some
business
there
uh
I'll
be
back
here
in
about
uhh,
three
weeks,
so
listen.
When
I
get
back,
I
was
wondering
if
maybe
you
might
wanna
UHH..."
[laughter]
Ladies
that
are
fat
ladies
that
are
skinny
Ladies
that
are
all
night
on
my
jimmy
Ladies
that
won't
charge
me
a
buck
fiddy
Just
wanna
get
with
me
cuz
I'm
so
pretty
Bitties
who
wanna
bite
off
a
lil
sumpin'
Best
part's
the
top
like
a
Drew
Berry
muffin
Bitties
that
wanna
turn
on
the
love
oven
And
cook
up
a
casserole
of
stove
top
stuffin'
Don't
stop
the
suckin'
cuz
you're
filled
with
my
gumption
Take
care
of
my
beaker
cuz
I'm
honeydew
Bunsen
Got
ya
jonesin'
for
my
potion,
got
my
finger
on
the
button
That's
why
mc
be
struttin'
Wish
I
could
erase
this
erection
Honey's
comin'
at
me
from
every
direction
Lookin'
for
the
love
connection
Stinky,
sweaty,
sexin'
without
protection
So
line
up
the
contestants
I'll
open
their
drawers
like
the
kid
in
the
sixth
sense
I
won't
persist
this
distance,
gotta
get
up
in
this
She
fuckin'
up
my
Christmas
Fuckin'
up
my
Christmas
is
a
new
way
of
saying
fuckin'
up
my
shit
This
is
not
so
much
a
holiday
oriented
song
as
it
is
an
exclamation
of
dismay
at
the
sight
of
a
beautiful
woman
She
fuckin'
up
my
Christmas
biznitch
Catchin'
glimpses
and
tiny
tidbits
I
was
fine
till
you
was
in
my
business
With
you're
volleyball
booty
and
you're
frilly
pink
tits
Yo
what
up
wit
dis,
it
mc
chris
"M"
in
my
name
stand
for
monolith
No
that's
not
a
lisp,
you're
a
finalist
Here's
a
sash
for
that
ass
it
says
dominance
Now,
here's
my
hotel
key
and
some
common
sense
Get
up
to
my
suite
or
you're
incompetent
Do
you
wanna
be
a
winner
or
the
opposite?
So
lick
them
lips,
drop
them
shits
and
step
on
it
Fuckin'
up
my
Christmas
is
a
new
way
of
saying
fuckin'
up
my
shit
This
is
not
so
much
a
holliday
oriented
song
As
it
is
an
exclamation
of
dismay
at
the
sight
of
a
beautiful
woman
Steve
Martin:
So
listen
uhh,
you
wanna
come
over
to
my
place?
Well
look,
just
in
case
hell
does
freeze
over,
where
can
I
reach
you?"
[laughter]
Okay!
[whistling
and
applause]
You
people
are
sick!
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