Текст песни Quest for the Golden Frog - Professor Elemental
Prof.
Elemental:
So
yeah,
basically
it
lunged
at
me
Its
claws
bared
and
its
teeth
clumped
together
So
of
course
I
shot
it
in
the
face!
Imagine
my
surprise
when
it
turned
out
to
be
Princess
Anne...
Oh,
s-sorry?
Oh,
Is
the
mic
on?
Oh
hello?
Hello?
Right-o
Well
thank
you
Lord
Bucksley
And
I,
I'd
like
to
welcome
you
to
this
lecture
Of
the
Gentlemen's
Club
of
the
Empire!
Uh,
in
front
of
you
you'll
find
your
Brain-O-Matic
helmets
It's
a
marvelous
device
Which
will
conjure
pictures
of
my
exploits
directly
into
your
delicate
heads
If
you'd
like
to
attach
the
electrodes
and
then
simply
insert
the
spinal
syringe...
Ah,
there
we
go!
Well.
Let's
begin!
Attention
Lords,
Ladies
and
Gentlemen!
Professor
Elemental
recommends
My
lecture,
meant
for
special
friends
Attend
my
adventure
to
the
very
end
My
quest
was
risky,
my
role
was
odd
I
set
out
for
the
mystic
golden
frog!
(Oooh!)
It
was
the
stuff
of
legends
Said
to
give
the
bearer
a
glimpse
of
Heaven!
Plus,
it
was
quite
shiny
So
in
preparation
First
I
drew
a
map
from
my
imagination,
Packed
my
battenberg
and
my
absinthe
Marmoquin,
blunderbuss,
and
my
collapsing
magic
staff!
Plus
a
tea-pot
and
some
proper
grey
Stoke
the
fire,
set
the
bellows
Come
on
fellows,
chocks
away!
A-ha!
To
find
the
frog...
HEY
YOU!
Pack
your
bags,
it's
time
to
trip,
With
the
good
Professor
so
ride
the
ship,
Exotic
dancer
third,
then
scientist,
But
explorer
first,
so
I
enlist
YOU!
Pack
your
bags,
it's
time
to
trip,
With
the
good
Professor
so
ride
the
ship,
Exotic
dancer
third,
then
scientist,
But
explorer
first
Week
one:
Crash-landed
near
Tanzania,
Surrounded
by
savages
in
rabbit
ears
Before
you
could
say
"My
good
man,
how
queer!"
I
held
aloft
my
magic
spear!
"In
the
name
of
the
empire,
bring
me
the
frog!"
Amazingly,
they
made
me
their
king
or
their
god
I
didn't
think
this
was
odd
until
we
got
to
the
volcano
Hotter
than
my
stage
show
Time
for
me
to
lay
low...
Week
two:
I
used
my
string
to
tie
bamboo
poles
A
useful
thing
I
roll
in
to
surf
the
rising
tide
I
feel
alive
like
a
viking
Time
to
ride
to
the
ship
In
a
storm,
how
exciting!
Let's
take
to
the
skies
with
the
power
of
lightning!
Launch
the
nets
Geoffery!
It's
going
to
be
a
rough
ride
HEY
YOU!
Pack
your
bags,
it's
time
to
trip
With
the
good
Professor
So
ride
the
ship
Exotic
dancer
third,
then
scientist
Explorer
first,
so
I
enlist
YOU!
Week
three:
No
closer
to
finding
the
frog
But
I
had
an
absinthe
party
With
the
Munchkins
of
Oz!
No
trouble
to
come
in
to
land
For
opium,
tea
and
mushrooms
in
Wonderland
(More
tea?)
And
this
is
something
grand
From
London
to
Australia,
my
cunning
plan
Was
completely
and
utterly
unsuccessful!
So
I
left
to
go
settle
back
at
home
with
my
kettle
For
the
rest
I
need
-
You'll
never
guess
what
was
hiding
under
the
settee!
Yes!
It's
the
frog!
Oh,
pardon
me
I
forgot,
I
won
it
in
a
wager
last
week!
...That
is
embarrassing,
isn't
it?
A
little
bit
of
a
waste
of
time,
really
Geoffrey
must
have
tucked
it
under
there,
I
suppose...
Well,
anyway
Uh,
thank
you
for
coming!
Ah,
I
hope
you
consider
my
application
for
funding
For
next
year's
trip
to
find
life
on
Mars
I
know
the
chances
of
anything
coming
to
Earth
Are
a
million
to
one,
or
so
they
say
But
I
disagree,
really!
And
I
think
that...
Oh,
hello?
Hello?
Oh,
where's
everyone
gone?
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