Songtexte 96 - 96Migrant

I've never been the type to brag about my problems
Cause I know that everyone that lives at some point they have got them
As it may seem
Depressions got me lazy, just to think I'm wasting all this time, that feeling drives me crazy
I'm trying to improve, it's just I don't know what to do
Tryna go back to the time I was the happy guy in school
It dawns on me
This tunnels dark and long
I wrote down so many bad thoughts I got enough to make a song
All this bad shit going on, I'm trying not to think
All it takes is seeing a picture and my heart begins to sink
I'm in a hurry, life's got so much drama like it's Cory and my family's worried my minds in a dangerous territory
But I'm still here
Wounded but I'm walking
To be honest with you this past year I ain't done that much talking
The things I do talk about, nothing really major
You already know that I feel alone like I was endangered
I'm starting it
This is the plan and I will make it
This is a promise to myself I promise not to break it
I've been counting down the days, not real, feels strange
The man you are is based on the decisions that you make
I've been putting in that work, I think you get the jist
You've been up since this morning, I've been up since 96
To all my ones up there I still feel you in your spirits
Sometimes when I lose my head that's why I write these lyrics
I don't know what to do anymore faith is long gone
My dad got so wasted he don't even know his own son
You can't do the same shit, expect a different outcome
How can we look back on the past when it's long gone
I'm being told to be happy, that's what life's about
I'm struggling at the age of 20 figuring that out
I'm tryna watch my mouth
So excuse me but I didn't think at this age that my bed would be a couch
This is mad

Each day I wake up and I feel sad
I look over and I see my shits still packed up in black bags
Not in my zone
Don't argue, you just need to change your tone
Cause you'll miss the little things like the names on your phone
And I'm tired of taking loans
Got me stressing so I can't sleep unless I'm getting drunk or getting stoned
I haven't got it
Putting a padlock on my heart to lock it
I'm not gonna love cause everything I've loved I've lost it
If only I could jump in and blast out in a rocket
Cause I'm done apologizing, saying sorry doesn't cut it
I'm into this, there's not a single thing that I could bear to miss compared to this
I get so many headaches taking all those risks, I've took the piss
From here on out I'm listening
Motivation comes and goes, it's all about the discipline
I've been so many places I can't call myself a resident
I've smoked so many zoots that I've forgotten what the resin is
The resin is
You see me cutting up my list in this, life I live, putting together all these sentences, I'm done with this
This shit isn't like before
My only wish is that I don't have to wish anymore
I don't even have a home I go door to door
I don't even eat meals I eat food for thought