Burned Off

I'm placing a call
It's a 1800 number I look up on my phone
Stranger answers with a borrowed tone
Say, "Hello, I've been wondering what
My scissors can cut
Besides my hair and this childish note"

Wondered if I'd even feel it all, oh
Wondered if I should have even made this call

And if I took apart myself
And every piece of me was all laid out
I don't think I'd like what I saw
And if I threw a lighted match
Atop this mountain of filth and mess
I don't think I'd miss what burned off
No, I don't think that I'd miss what burned off

And I wanna go
I wanna hurt enough that makes it real enough
That makes it understandable
And I know that I can't live like this
But what if there's times that I don't want to live at all

And if I took apart myself
And every piece of me was all laid out
I don't think I'd like what I saw
And if I threw a lighted match
Atop this mountain of filth and mess
I don't think I'd miss what burned off
No, I don't think that I'd miss what burned off

And I catch myself again by the yellow light
Beating fluorescent
And I unclench my jaw
And I speak into the phone, say
"I don't wanna die, just don't wanna be alone"
And I always see-saw

From good to bad and worst to fine
The things I try to justify
Never seem to stay that long
Good to bad and worse to good
And maybe every step I took was the wrong one after all

I wanna take apart myself
And get every piece of me all laid out
And watch the bad things fall
And if you saw what I did
Would you be amazed or disgusted
And want to watch it burn off?
Do you want to watch it burn off?
I want to watch it all burn off

Good to bad and worse to fine
The things I try to justify never seem to stay that long
Good to bad and worse to good
And maybe every step I took was the wrong one
After all