Songtexte Dissociative - Before I Turn

Free me from the dark in my head
'Cause it's preventing me from seeing red
I can't tell who I am anymore
Somebody tell me 'cause I'm not so sure
Emptiness is the victim of pain
Killing me loudly like the sorrow and pain
I'm feeling darkness, I'm feeling death
I taste the blood from our last kiss on my breath
Was it the pain in my eyes that lead me to this misery?
Was it the look of your death from your head down to your feet?
Or was it something I did,
that made me regret the life that I've lived?
And tell me please, Do you hate me too?
Do you hate me for the things that I do?
I see a face in the distance, of who I'm trying to be
It was the lust of a vixen that took control over me
And now I feel all the blackness, it washes all over me
See the light in the darkness, of who I'm not supposed to be
FUCK!
Thank you mother, for the pain that you've inflicted
For hiding all my sanity, and making me a victim
I've tried it all before, but it doesn't seem to help
The fact that I'm alone makes me hate my fucking self
I see a face in the distance, of who I'm trying to be
It was the lust of a vixen that took control over me
And now I feel all the blackness, it washes all over me
See the light in the darkness, of who I'm not supposed to .. .
How could she let me bear this fucking disease?
How could she be so suffocating?
I feel her presence, it lingers within
It dwells inside me, closer than I've ever been
"My mind cannot even begin to fathom the abhorrent
information that was disclosed this dreadful night
My lover is not my lover, and therefore I am not myself
My sanity is elsewhere. My hope is failing
And the trust of my own kin is non-existent
Why I was not debriefed on this
deception is beyond my wildest imagination
I throw myself to the mercy of fate
Live or die. . it is no longer my choice"