Snooker Loopy

Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then screw it back
For the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy

Now ol' Milo as we all know's
Got loadsa dappa suits
London bred and he keeps his head
Though he's got an Italian roots
Emotional but he keeps his cool
'Til he reaches the finals
And whether he wins or whether he don't
"I always bite me eyeballs"

Now our friend Den, hours he spent
Down the snooker hall
On the old green baize his mates seem amazed
The skills with a snooker ball
But them long shots, he never ever got
Why? The old mind boggles
But nowadays he pots the lot
"Cause I wear these goggles"

Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then screw it back
For the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy

Now Terry the taff was born in a gaff
In the valleys of the land of song
And as the reds he puts to bed
He likes to sing along
"If I win", he says with a grin
"It can only help me, can't it?"
"I'll celebrate, I'll buy another eight"
"Hairbrushes for me barnet"

But old Willy Thorne his hair's all gone
And his mates all take the rise
His opponent said, "Cover up his head
'Cause it's shining in my eyes"
When the light shines down on his bare crown
It's a cert he's gonna walk it
It is just not fair giving off that glare
"Perhaps I ought to chalk it"

Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then screw it back
For the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy

Steve last year come very near
To winning the snooker crown
But he never got to put it on his ginger nut
'Cause the black ball wouldn't go down
His manager a go and said "Sod that ball"
But it helped him make his mind up
Now he don't care who wins this year
"Cause he's got the rest of us signed up"

Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then screw it back
For the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy

Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue
Pot the reds then screw it back
For the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy

Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy