Looking After Number One

I'm just not good at looking after number one
No, I ain't got time for looking after number one
I've got a hole at the elbow
I've got a hole in my shoe
And my glasses are held together with plasters
And my hair's sticking up like a cockatoo
I guess I'm just not good at looking after number one
Because the work of a family man is never done

I've got to think of the children
I've got to think of the dog
I've got to think about my dear old mother
Who doesn't get out so much anymore

I'm just not good at looking after number one
Because the work of a family man is never done

It all goes on around here
Gotta keep on track
Got to keep moving forwards
And don't look back

I've got to curb the drinking
I've got to quit the cigs
I need a full body MOT
And a finger from Doctor Briggs
And I'm working to meet the deadlines
To keep the wolf from the door
But there's a hundred and one things that have to be done

Before I can think about number one
To think about number one
I can think about number one
Think about number one