Smoke, Smoke, Smoke

Now, I'm a fellow with a heart of gold
With the ways of a gentleman, I've been told
The kind of a guy that wouldn't even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character ever met
The guy that invented the cigarette
I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree

Well, it ain't because I don't smoke myself
And I don't reckon they hinder your health
For I smoked 'em a-half of my life and I ain't dead yet
But nicotine slaves are all the same
At a pettin' party or poker game
Everything's gotta stop while I have a cigarette

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff it, if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the golden gate
That you hates to make him wait
You just gotta have another cigarette

In a game of chance the other night
Old Dame Fortune was doin' me right
The kings and the queens, they just kept comin' 'round
I called a full and I bet 'em high
But my bluff didn't work on this certain guy
'Cause he just kept a-raisin' and layin' that money down

He'd raise me and I'd raise him, hmm, sweated blood
God, I sink or swim, but he finally called
And he didn't raise the bet
I said, "Aces full, pal, how 'bout you?"
And he said, "I'll tell you in a minute or two
But right now, I just gotta have a cigarette"

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff it, if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the golden gate
That you hates to make him wait
You just gotta have another cigarette

The other night, then, I had a date
With the cutest little gal, she sure did rate
She was a high-bred, uptown, fancy little thing
She said she loved me and it seemed to me
That things were just about like they oughta be
So hand in hand, we went walking right down lovers' lane

She was oh so far from a chunk of ice
And our smoochin' party was going real nice
And so help me, Michael, I think I mighta been there yet
But I gave her a kiss and a little squeeze
And she says, "Doc, excuse me please
But I'm just bound to have another cigarette"
Ruined my vanity

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff it, if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the golden gate
That you hates to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette