Goldwatch Blues

I went up for my interview on the fourth day of July
Personnel man, he questioned me until I nearly cried
Made me fill in forms until I shook with fear
About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin's queer

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane"
"And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years"

He asked me how many jobs I'd had before
He nearly had a heart attack when I answered, "Four"
"Four jobs in twenty years, oh, this can never be"
"We only take on men who work until they die"

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane"
"And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years"

He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line
"This is where we bury them, in quick-stone and in lime"
"And if you come to work for us, on this you must agree
That if you're going to die, please, do it during tea break"

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane"
"And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years"

This story that you heard you may think rather queer
But it is the truth you'll be surprised to hear
I did not want no job upon the board
I just wanted to take a broom and sweep the bloody floor

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane"
"And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years"