Makin' Whoopee

Every time I hear that marchin' Lohengrin
I am always on the outside lookin' in
Maybe that is why I see the funny side
When I see somebody's brother take a bride
Weddings make a lot of people sad
But if you're not the one, they're not so bad!

Another bride, another June
Another sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin' whoopee

A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous, he answers twice
It's really killin'
That he's so willin' to make whoopee

Picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Picture the same sweet love nest
Think what a year can bring

He's washin dishes and baby clothes
He's so ambitious, he even sews
But don't forget folks
That's what you get folks, for makin' whoopee

Another year, or maybe less
What's this I hear? Well, can't you guess?
She feels neglected, and he's suspected
Of makin' whoopee

She sits alone
Most every night
He doesn't phone her, he doesn't write
He says he's busy
But she says, "Is he?"
He's makin' whoopee

He doesn't make much money
Only five thousand per
Some judge who thinks he's funny
Says, "You'll pay six to her"

He says, "Now judge, suppose I fail?"
The judge says, "Budge, right into jail
You'd better keep her
I think it's cheaper than makin' W-H-double-O-P-double-E whoopee"