Songtexte Religious Lift - George Carlin

Religion is like a lift in your shoe, it's important sometimes
And it helps you walk straight for a while
How long you need it, that's the secret
How long do I need it?
It's like anything else you think you need
For any length of time, how long do I need it?

Long as you're pulling your own coat, nice
Long as you know who's in control, or why you're not, okay
But religion is like abdicating responsibility for your life
Many religions make it easy for you to, just throw it all off, "It's God's will"
That's right, God's will
I ran over the kid in the driveway, that's right

Don't look at me, God's will
Hey, boys, let's go downtown and get this guy God
Can you see a lynch mob in front of the church?
It's the fourth guy he's killed this week

God is a cool guy
He really couldn't have time for all we lay on him
I mean, all the stuff that we say
We describe him, you know, we walk around
And one of the things we say, said "He knows everything"
God knows everything

He knows everything that's going on at the same time, every little molecule
Every little molecule spinning around, every little atom
Every little electron, he knows if electron goes over a whole
Orbit of a molecule, goes and makes another one, it's a chemical
Combination, makes it, He knows about this piece of wood and the flavor
It's a bigger cracker, what a workload this must be!
Can you picture God on Monday morning?

He wouldn't wish that on himself, He's a cool guy
He's us, that's what we always said, every religion told us
Love yourself, love your neighbor, love your God, you're all the same guy
We just don't have uniforms yet

We do believe we're God, that's cool, we are
I think God is probably subject to physical laws
That would explain a lot of things, you know?
Would explain why he can't help a whole lot of stuff
People say, "How could a God who's benevolent let this kind of suffering go on?"
He can't help it, lady, He's subject to physical laws

Why did God always have to send a messenger?
Why the hell doesn't he show up himself? I mean, really now
God sent a messenger, God sent an angel
And they came from somewhere to somewhere
This implies the traversing of physical space, this implies physical laws
Why did God have to go from some place to another?
'Cause He's only slightly superior

Everything God makes dies
Are you sure, so far everything? Right
Every tree so far, every blue hog
Well, there's a lot of things still alive
But it's just like it was before, they're gonna die we just can't prove it
That keeps us alive, doesn't it? It's not all dead yet

God, everything he makes dies
Where did he get such a great reputation?
This batting average of his is zero, zero, zero
I mean, the cool guy is a cool guy
But don't pump me on him
Like I said, religion is a lift in your shoe, man
If you need it, cool, just don't let me wear your shoes if I don't want 'em
And we don't have to go down and nail lifts onto the native's feet
That was always a wonderful thing