I Hate Everything (50 Number Ones Version)

He was sitting there beside me
Throwin' doubles down when he ordered up his third one
He looked around, then he looked at me
And said I do believe I oughta have one more

He said I hate this bar and I hate to drink
But on second thought, tonight I think I hate everything

Then he opened up his billfold and threw a 20 down
And a faded photograph fell out and hit the ground
And I picked it up he said Thank ya bud
I put it in his hand. He said I probably oughta throw
This one away, 'cause she's the reason I feel this way
I hate everything

Well, I hate my job and I hate my life
And if it werent for my two kids, I'd hate my ex-wife
I know I should move on and try to start again
But I just can't get over her leaving me for him
Then he shook his head and looked down at his ring
And said I hate everything

He said, That one bedroom apartment where I get my mail
Is really not a home, it's more like a jail
With a swimming pool and a parking lot view. Man, it's just great!

I hate summer, winter, fall, and spring
Red and yellow, purple, blue and green
I hate everything

I hate my job, and I hate my life
And if it werent for my two kids, I'd hate my ex-wife
I know I should move on and try to start again
But I just can't get over her leaving me for him
Then he shook his head and looked down at his ring
And said I hate everything

So I pulled out my phone and I called my house
I said Babe, I'm coming home we're gonna work this out
I paid for his drinks and I told him Thanks!
Thanks for everything