Songtexte Soto - Kiid Perky

All you ever wanted was a friend
All you ever wanted was the fucking pain to end
I just had a dream of you again
Telling me I'm someone you forgive

Hurts me deep inside cuz I know that you mean it
The way you fucking died tore my soul into pieces
Should I take my life just hope the grieving ends
Yeah who'd ever thought I'd be finding myself in a place momma told me that you know pretty well
Hope you looking down on me cuz I can't really tell
My momma told me suicide will always lead you to hell
And it's hard to think that, you got banished to the pits
When all I seen when you lived was just an innocent kid
Tryna make it In life right? but whenever you did
Your depression always came due to other dumb kids

And at the moment of doubt you was tryna look for a friend
So you sit and wonder "why did our relationship end?"
All these thoughts came, you were still refusing to sin
Everyday I repent for not seeing the pain that you lived
And the blame I just wanna put it all to myself
Cuz if I was there for you, you wouldn't even need any help

So if my moms true then I deserve to be in that hell
Cuz the pain you had was also now reflecting myself
All you ever wanted was a friend
All you ever wanted was the fucking pain to end
I just had a dream of you again
Telling me I'm someone you forgive

Hurts me deep inside cuz I know that you mean it
The way you fucking died tore my soul into pieces
Should I take my life just hope the grieving ends

One night sitting on the edge of my bed
Hopped on a game with you at that very moment you said
What do I think is the very definition of death
"Would people care if I ever just took my last breath"?
And now I know that I finally understand what you meant
When you told me the only way they'll Ever love you is dead
A week Later the doctor tried to fuckin prescribe you with meds
Told your momma that she should try and keep you on check
He said you were going through this fucking thing called depression
Said you was bullied at school now your fucking brain starts progressing
To fantasizing about ways you would be taking your life
It took week for your family to even know that you died
And the only thing left was the swollen pain in your eyes
And your one friend who couldn't even say his goodbye
Trust me I wish that I tried
Think I'm the reason you died
Now I just shake and I cry
But as I look to the sky

I see black cloud forming on the top of my head
Remembered again every single fucking thing that you said
And one time I remember I walked into a class
I saw your face and looked down like I was hid in a mask
I walked by you for a second but that second had passed
Who knew that day We seen you would be everybody's fucking last
Heard the news of your suicide best believe that I crashed
I lost a true friend I know that'll I'll never get back
All you ever wanted was a friend
All you ever wanted was the fucking pain to end
I just had a dream of you again
Telling me I'm someone you forgive

Hurts me deep inside cuz I know that you mean it
The way you fucking died tore my soul into pieces
Should I take my life just hope the grieving ends

Saw a bunch of people tryna post you on the gram
Everybody say they love you some would say they were a fan
Even your bullies were holding pictures of yourself on their hand
People stated that they knew you you were respected as a man
All this shit just made me sick
And to come to think of it
Half the people tried to see the amount of clout that they can get
Then they saw the pictures posted now were barely getting shit
So they took off all the pics and just forget you then that's it
Now I'm sitting here with all these fucking holes inside my wall
Tearing up at the fact that I could've fuckin stopped it all
If I would've picked up the phone and just had given you a call
So I don't wanna be respected or remembered when I fall
If I would've sank to depression you would've helped me through it all
The realest friend I could've gotten can't believe I threw it all
Some would say no matter what your going through just let your head stand tall
But now I feel like I don't wanna live at all

Hurts me deep inside cuz I know that you mean it
The way you fucking died tore my soul into pieces
Should I take my life just hope the grieving ends