All Points West

Leaving track thirty-three at 11:27
The Great Lakes Express
Bound for Albany, Syracuse, Rochester
Buffalo, Erie, Cleveland, Toledo
Detroit, Kalamazoo
And all points West!
Clear enough, ain't it?
Don't stand too near the mike, that's the secret
Remember when we used to call 'em through megaphones
Had to yell our lungs out
Now it's easy!
See that salesman with his sample cases and his wife?
She's kissing him goodbye
A long, long trip
She's whispering in his ear
He promises
Oh yes, he'll be true
Oh yes, he'll be true
Ha, ha
Those salesmen get around
Must be marvelous
Home is where your satchel is
And fun on the train
Fun on the train
It's leaving now!
Pea knuckle, highballs
Girl across the aisle
Magazines, highballs
And the girl across the aisle
Start talking at Manhattan Transfer
They talk, they talk
Fun on the train
Fun on the train
I never get in 'em
11:50, The Great Plains Express
Leaving track twelve at 11:50
The Great Plains Express
Bound for Philadelphia, Pittsburgh
Kankakee, Des Moines, Omaha
And all points West!
Out West
There's a mother saying goodbye to her boy
Go West, young man
She's crying
They always cry
He'll be going to get a job out there
They say there's lots of jobs for any young man out West
I ain't so young anymore
But I'd love to go
Where the breeze smells fine
From the sage and pine
And the sun turns rock into gold
I have heard when you ride
On the prairie so wide
You forget that a man can grow old
Oh, the Rockies rise
To the sunburned skies
And the world opens up like a fan
But for me there is dust
There is dirt, there is rust
While you'll go West, young man
While you'll go West, young man
Look at those doughboys
You ask where those rookies are going?
Plattsburgh, where the camp is
That's where they train
They line 'em up each morning
And boy, they've got to shine
Each button must be buttoned
Before they get in line
The drummer starts in drumming
The bugle starts to blare
With uniforms a-gleaming
And noses in the air
And noses in the air
At night there's beer and smoking
And maybe shooting craps
They sit together joking
Until it's time for "Taps"
That's a rap
That's a rap
What a life!
I never get anywhere
Number forty-two for Boston?
Yes, Miss
Leaves in five minutes
College girls, eight of 'em
Ain't they pretty?
Finishing school, they call it
They used to call 'em flappers
Now they're debs
How young they are
How sweet they are
How clean they are
How fresh and beautiful
Their hands are soft
Their eyes are bright
At night they sleep
And dream their hearts away
Life is a dance they play
A little old
To see young girls
How young they are

Leaving track seventeen at 12:10
The Honeymoon Express
Bound for Harmon, Ossining, Albany, Rochester, Buffalo, Niagara Falls
And all points west!

Look at that guy, no honeymoon for him
Poor guy, he's handcuffed to a cop
Yep, a burglar, maybe a killer
No Niagara Falls for him
He'll get as far as Ossining
Up the river, maybe for keeps
How mad he looks, what's he mad about?
At least he's going somewhere
But there's a honeymoon couple
With all their friends and relations
Rice they're throwing, and old shoes

Bright young love
And sights to see
They're all for you
But not for me
You'll have sights to see
And bright young love in bloom
Goodbye
You pretty bride and happy groom
Goodbye

What's that yelling? What's that crowd?
Police whistles! A crook! The prisoner broke away!
Look at the cops! They got him
No, they didn't! I hope he makes it
Look out! There's a cop behind that post!
He got his sleeve! He got away! Hurry! Hurry!
The cop's got his gun out!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot, you fool! You'll hit someone!

Oh, you fool
Why me?
Here, here
I'm going, going
On track seven at twelve
Oh, sight to see, to see, to go
I'm going somewhere now

Oh, I leave at last
On a train that's fast
And the whistle is starting to blow
Now the track is all clear
And the chief engineer
Says, "All points west, let's go!"
Says, "All points west, let's go!"