Too Many Sandwiches

Shopping spree for the family tree
Haven't seen your family tree
In quite a while
Too many sandwiches and wine
Sherry stains down your best man's tie
What a speech

The band arrives, the granny's cry
The singer's tongue's in the barmaid's mouth
What a voice
Grandpa drunk a drop or two
His head's still stuck in the portaloo
What a man

You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts
The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight
He got a diamond ring
And the man who sings
The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice
And that's just tonight

The blue rinsed hairs lift up the chairs
The band's too loud they're off down the stairs
What a noise
The bride and groom they dance their dance
The singer mimes there's still a chance
The barmaid smiles

You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts
The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight
He got a diamond ring
And the man who sings
The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice
And that's just tonight

You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts
The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight
He got a diamond ring
And the man who sings
The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice

Grandpa drunk a drop or two
His head's still stuck in the portaloo again!
The bride and groom they dance their dance
The singer mimes there's still a chance tonight
And the barmaid smiles