Calling Out Again

I've been wandering
And I've been wondering
Was it worth it?
Was it worth it?

Cause I've
I've been so stuck in my head
My head keep spinning again
So should I? Should I?
Call out to you
Is it worth it?

Since he's gone the light has seemed to dim down
And I can't seem to find my way home now
Thoughts in my head drive me towards the same ledge
But I don't know how to tell you that
Cause last time that I reached out
You didn't even answer me
Last time that I reached out
I found myself scrambling
Lost my words started stammering
A lil profanity fueled insanity
Knowing mom chose him
And you chose not to choose me
My vanity covered like canopies
So

Cause I've
I've been so stuck in my head
My head keep spinning again
So should I? should I?
Call out cause I
I can't be stuck in my head
With all that's left unsaid
So I
I
Am calling out to you

Hey dad
I don't know if you know what it feels like to wait for something that never happens
Like discovering life on Mars or world peace or you coming home
Like
The only thing that could have made it better is if I had held my breath
I think Mom did cause hers, always sounded a little too short
From chasing the ghost of you.
Come to think of it, you were always so elusive
Casper ain't got shit on you
Walking through walls unfazed by your family
Like when you'd pick me up it felt like I was becoming a bit too heavy or like this
Was a little too heavy for you.
Guess duffle bags and train tickets don't weigh too much
It took an eternity to lift our spirits again
But we figured it out
She figured it
Like she always did
She's been gone for a minute
And now so is Avery
It took me way too long to get her message
Hopefully it won't take you as long to get mine
Love, your son
My son
Caleb