Songtexte Coming Clean - Stollgan

I miss my family and friends that got left behind
I have the darkest thoughts inside 'cause I don't really wanna die
Yeah it's a mirror of my fear and I can't really lie
About the turmoil that I always tend to feel inside
I never catch a break from all the things that weigh me down
Negative thoughts coming at me, never stopping now
It wasn't always this way, but I'll keep pushing forward anyhow

So I think back to when I was young and my mind was healthy
Never could I see that happiness was a currency that made me wealthy
I always reminisce of the days that won't come
What's ahead of me is not the free joy that I came from

It's difficult tryna get ahead while you're falling backwards
There's not a thing I won't do for a day filled with laughter
I wanna slow down, but man, time keeps going faster
I'd rather live right now than pretend there's something after

If there was a time when I didn't have to align
My thoughts with my body, spirit, and mind
It's too far gone now, there's no chance to rewind
No possibility of going back to find a sign
That this is not forever
Tell me that there's a different forecast for the weather
I can't go on like this not feeling any better
These times have been getting harder than ever
Harder than ever, yuh

I wanna go back to where I came from
Home town fever got me feelin' like I'm still too young
Life got me feelin' so worn out and high strung
Life got me breathin' like I don't know how to use my lungs
Fish out of water, I always felt this way
Never made too many friends 'cause I'm in my head all day
Keep me in your thoughts or prayers; believe or not, that's okay
I have faith that I will live my fullest life if I don't stray
From all the things that I've been working to, all these dreams gon' get me through
'Cause nothing really matters if I do not commit to
Making a better version of me and a better world for you
Yeah, I know it's not that easy to avoid giving into
The negative feelings and the voice inside my head
I'm stuck another day choosing between myself or making bread
Not sure how much more I can take life on by the head
Keep going on while remembering the memories instead

So I think back to a time when everything was fine
Wake up every day lookin' at the sunshine
That's all I want now, keep everything in line
But I still lie to myself all the time

It's difficult tryna get ahead while you're falling backwards
There's not a thing I won't do for a day filled with laughter
I wanna slow down, but man, time keeps going faster
I'd rather live right now than pretend there's something after