Professor Derrida Deconstructs

I know that the Romans came after the Greeks
I went to a lecture to hear Robert Hughes speak
I am honoured, cultured, literate - and yet
All of my life I've had one main regret

I wish I'd slept with more girls
I wish I'd had more sex
I wish my wife had'a sucked my dick

They told me the yobbos would turn out no good
I did my homework, they turned into hoods
I have a family. I am happy and proud
I said no to anything I wasn't allowed

I wish I'd done more drugs
I wish I'd snorted coke
I wish I had taken the risk

The Angel of Death hovers overhead
My family, come, gather 'round the bed
Come my colleagues, come literate friends
Here is my last wish, as my life ends

I wish you'd written my books
I wish you'd married my wife
I wish you owned my home

I wish my thoughts were yours
I wish my life weren't mine
I wish you'd never known me at all

I wish you'd take my place
I wish it were you lying here
I wish you'd all get fucked