Rambling Rover

There are sober man aplenty
And drunkards barely twenty
There are men of over ninety
Who have never yet kissed a girl
But give me a rambling rover
From Orkney down to Dover
We'll roam the country over
And together we'll face the world

There are those who claim enjoyment
Of merciless employment
Their ambition this deployment
Since the minute they left the school
And they scrape and save and ponder
While the rest go out and squander
See the world and rove and wander
And they're happier as a rule

I have roamed through all the nations
Took delight in all creation
I've enjoyed a wee sensation
When the company did prove kind
When parting was no pleasure
I drank another measure
To the good friends that we treasure
For they always are on our mind

If you're bent with arthritis
And your bowels have got colitis
You've galloping bollockitis
And you're thinking it's time you died
If you've been a man of action
And you're lying there in traction
You can gain some satisfaction
Thinking Jesus at least I tried