Cousin Kevin - Original Album Version

We're on our own cousin,
All alone cousin.
Let's think of a game to play
Now the grownups have all gone away.
You won't be much fun
Being blind deaf and dumb
But I've no one to play with today.
D'you know how to play hide and seek?
To find me it would take you a week,
But tied to that chair you won't go anywhere
There's a lot I can do to a freak.

How would you feel if I turned on the bath,
Ducked your head under and started to laugh.
What would you do if I shut you outside,
To stand in the rain
And catch cold so you died?

I'm the school bully!
The classroom cheat.
The nastiest playfriend,
You ever could meet.
I'll stick pins in your fingers
And tread on your feet...

We're on our own cousin,
All alone cousin.
Let's think of a game to play
Now the grownups have all gone away.
You won't be much fun
Being blind deaf and dumb
But I've no one to play with today.
D'you know how to play hide and seek?
To find me it would take you a week,
But tied to that chair you won't go anywhere
There's a lot I can do to a freak.

Maybe a cigarette burn on your arm
Would change your expression to one of alarm,
I'll drag you around by a lock of your hair
Or give you a push at the top of the stairs...

I'm the school bully!
The classroom cheat.
The nastiest playfriend,
You ever could meet.
I'll put glass in your dinner
And spikes in your seat...