Songtexte Decennium - Xersize

I've contemplated if I'm dedicated
Where I'm headed
Would it matter if I'm alive or dead
I've wasted

My potential with the wrong people
I never waited
Jumping in head first
To test the water, they said

"Homie you got this
So what if people never get it?"
It matters to me because
That's why I penned it

Pour my heart and my soul
Upon the paper, I bled
Bits and pieces of me
Are forever stuck inside your head

If you listened, I mean
If you really listened
To the words in my songs
I think they paint a picture

It's not always sunny
In my mind, It's not Philly
But if you feel me
You begin to see the real me

The guy behind the words
The man who always sees the worst
The dude that's always feeling cursed
Always shaken never stirred

Always seen as real disturbed
This has gotten so absurd
I guess it must have not occurred
To some that I stay undeterred

Can't phase me
Nothing really gets to me
Except the things inside my head
Just mentally

I'm not fine, but you
Wouldn't know by looking at me
I got a great big smile
So I guess visually

I'm just a goofball
I laugh it up and trudge on
But in my heart of hearts
I know that something's going on

Something is wrong
And I really don't know what
I mean, it sucks
But I just have got to suck it up

I might be stuck
But that's not gonna stop me
I look around
And see no rapper that tops me

So I decided that
I'd come at them at top speed
You can try to block me
But you can never rock me

You're not a challenge
Even when you're at your best
You're not on my level
So go ahead and take my test

But if you fail
Then I do to you like all the rest
Put you in a pile
And I'll put you all to rest

Look, I'm not trying
To sound arrogant
I just know
That I am better than

The vast majority in Sweden
That is evident
If you just listen to my tracks
There's your evidence

But it's screwing with my mind
When I am seeing that
All my hard work's being ignored
You ain't feeling that?

You ever felt that way
When what you're working for
Isn't working out
You're being shaken to your core?

But joke's on you
It simply makes me work more
I will stand in front of my mic
Until my throat is sore

I will write rhymes
'Till I can't write no more
And I will plan a tour
That's longer than two of yours

But honestly
I don't care about the fame
Money's not my goal
If it was I'd be insane

I just wanna be able
To do this everyday
Without worrying about rent
Or how I'm gonna pay it

It's been a pain
It's not easy being indie
But I just can't give up
It isn't in me

Even my friends have doubts
They can't see
The vision that I have
But I really believe

That hard work and sacrifice
Eventually pays of
And if it doesn't
Then shit, I guess I'm lost

Without a paddle in shit's creek
It gets deep
The future might be bleak
And filled with mystique

But I'm not gonna stop
Until the day that I reach my peak
I won't put down my map
Until I find what I seek

I will search until the day
Where I'm too weak
To physically move on
So gimme your critique

You will see the day
When what I create is everywhere
And before you start complaining
That life ain't fair

Just remember
I've been in this game for ten years
I don't got no more time
To waste on my inner fears