Lyrics Crazy Rap (Cold 45 & 2 Zig Zags) - Afroman

Wait a minute man
Hey check this out man tell it
It was this blind man right, it was this blind man right
He was feelin' his way down the street with a stick right, hey
He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'
He stopped he took a deep breath he said
Snfffffff, woooo good morning ladies, ha
You like that shit man
Hey man Ive got a gang of that shit man
Hey I'll tell you what
We'll all have a good time
We'll pull on the drug
And hey, hey if everybody try on the mike I'll tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got
First I'm gonna start off like that, hey help me sing it homeboy
Said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn we can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feeling high as hell flyin' through Palmdale
Skatin' on dayton rims
So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my caddy will
Well it was just sundown in small white town
They call it east side Palmdale
When the Afroman walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale
Well I was standing on the corner sellin' rap CDs
When I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my caddy
Because I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan
We fucked on the bed
Fucked on the floor
Fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left (left)
Fucked to the right (right)
She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white
Thought to myself sheeba-sheeba
Got my ass lookin' like a zebra
I put on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
And so I ran I jumped out the back window
But her daddy he was waitin' with a two-by-four
He beat me to the left
He beat me to the right
The motherfucker whooped my ass all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudice dad
Thats the best damn pussy I ever had
Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna fuck that bitch just one more time
I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair but damn she looked good
I took her to my house because she was fine
But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine
I met this lady from Japan
Never made love with an African
I fucked her once, fucked her twice
I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big titties too
So I hopped in her ass like Kangaroo
See I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her ass and she said "aiee"
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch
Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian punch
I met colonel sanders wife in the state of Kentucky
Said I'll fry some chicken if you'd just fuck me
I came in her mouth, it was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices
Said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn we can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her titties were filled with Hennessey
That country music really drove me crazy
But I rode that ass and said yes miss daisy
Met this lady in Oklahoma
Put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan
I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again
Met a real black girl down in south Carolina
Fucked her until she turned into a white Albina
Fucked this hooker in Iowa
I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Fucked this girl down in Georgia
Came in her mouth, man I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful sexy hoe
She just ran across the border of Mexico
Fine young thing said her names Maria
I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
I wanna get married but I cant afford it
I know I'm gonna cry when she get deported
Said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
We can go to the park, after dark,
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn we can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Have you ever went over a girls house to fuck
But the pussy just ain't no good
I mean you gettin' upset because you cant get her wet
Plus you in the wrong neighborhood
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy
But it take her so long to come
Then a dude walk in thats her big boyfriend
And he asks you where you from
So you wipe your mouth and you try to explain
You start talkin' real fast
But he already mad cause you fuckin' his woman
So he start beatin' on you ass
Now your clothes all muddy
Your nose all bloody
Your dick was hard but now it's soft
You thought you had a girl to rock your world
Now you still gotta go jack off