Lyrics Then & Now - Alvi

I always thought I would make it to the pros
Achieve my every goal acquire lots of gold
Never would I thought I'd fucking stumble down the road
With the fire in my heart but my thoughts feeling cold
Goddamn homie you used to be the man homie
Standing so tall now you're sinking in the sand homie
Where's the plan demons lurking like a fan but fuck it
Gotta shine brighter cause I know I can this shits
Been rough how the fuck did I get here
Empty to the touch come and sit here I'm fixing dinner
I can show you how to be a winner
Shadows follow lonely and the sinners picking shits from litter
Feeling like my life is getting dimmer body's getting slimmer
Mind is hearing voices and they're saying do not enter
But ima venture cause nothing here can calm my center
I'm lifting all you up while I'm dying from the fucking pressure

Hold me close
Never let go
Hold me close
Never control
Shits real homie I have lost myself
And I'm tryna see clear take the goddamn wheel homie
Feel homie I have lost all sense
Feel hell bent

Ima ghost before I'll give a toast
To everyone that helped me I know you meant the most
I'm sorry for my actions I'm the worst at staying closed
Scared to let them in so I push them to the coast
Now I choke pride stuck up in my throat
I feel I gotta fix it sounds like a fucking joke
So now I always wonder I'm wondering the most
I wonder what they're thinking I wonder while I smoke fuck
I'm living backwards
This music emotions that captured
Go after keep my foot up on the gaser
And master yo I'm heading for disaster
Raw raw homie back and forth a seesaw
Swear the only thing that held my wits It's gone homie
Far homie where I've headed all along
It all depends if I can keep my mental strong homie

Hold me close
Never let go
Hold me close
Never control
Shits real homie I have lost myself
And I'm tryna see clear take the goddamn wheel homie
Feel homie I have lost all sense
Feel hell bent

Verse 3 now you get the worst of me
Looking down the tunnel yo the tunnel is a curse for me
What the fuck you doing common thoughts that I'm recycling
Viking king empty to my throne and It's trifling
Fighting these demons deep wounds like they knifing me
Site to see these broken limbs yet I'm stippling
I am me so get the fuck on your variety
Eyeing me lay you flat like we're ironing
If I were thee I'd only grip what desires me
Split I can't tell if it's the truth or the liar me
Conspiring take a hit and go try to breathe
Mist when I try to see mixed with the stifling
Frightening permanent on a tired theme
Heightening I'm legit on a higher beam
The fires means don't quit bitch your vital means
It is entirely fit go and live your dream

Hold me close
Never let go
Hold me close
Never control
Shits real homie I have lost myself
And I'm tryna see clear take the goddamn wheel homie
Feel homie I have lost all sense
Feel hell bent