Lyrics Mrs. Bloom - Arda

She's got curlers in her hair and a cane in her hand
Screams "Help me with the trash!" like it's her last stand
But when the lights go low and the curtains close
She's moonwalkin' wild in her leopard pantyhose
Her bingo crew's got leather boots and fake tattoos
They rob the candy store and spike their prune juice
She limps through the day like a haunted cartoon
But at night she's a disco typhoon

Don't ask her age, she'll throw her spoon
She's got more sass than a full saloon
She moves like Jagger, smells like doom
But she parties harder than your whole platoon

Mrs. Bloom, boom boom, breakin' every rule
Dancin' on the table at the nursing school
She's got arthritis but she's still in bloom
Rockin' like a riot in her living room
Mrs. Bloom, zoom zoom, in a stolen van
Crashin' senior yoga just to start a jam
She's got dentures, glitter, and a sonic boom
Don't mess with the legend of Mrs. Bloom

She's got a record player blasting Zeppelin loud
Her walker's got flames and a disco cloud
She knits with chains and she crochets crime
Her pacemaker's synced to funky time
She's got a gang of grannies with wild wigs
They crash the mall and steal the wigs from pigs
She fake snores in church, then steals the wine
And moonwalks out like it's 1979

Don't ask her age, she'll throw her spoon
She's got more sass than a full saloon
She moves like Jagger, smells like doom
But she parties harder than your whole platoon

Mrs. Bloom, boom boom, breakin' every rule
Dancin' on the table at the nursing school
She's got arthritis but she's still in bloom
Rockin' like a riot in her living room
Mrs. Bloom, zoom zoom, in a stolen van
Crashin' senior yoga just to start a jam
She's got dentures, glitter, and a sonic boom
Don't mess with the legend of Mrs. Bloom

She's got a cane that doubles as a mic
She sings "Stayin' Alive" on her motorbike
She's got a crew of fossils with rebel hearts
They break into clubs and steal the charts

Don't ask her age, she'll throw her spoon
She's got more sass than a full saloon
She moves like Jagger, smells like doom
But she parties harder than your whole platoon

Mrs. Bloom, boom boom, breakin' every rule
Dancin' on the table at the nursing school
She's got arthritis but she's still in bloom
Rockin' like a riot in her living room
Mrs. Bloom, zoom zoom, in a stolen van
Crashin' senior yoga just to start a jam
She's got dentures, glitter, and a sonic boom
Don't mess with the legend of Mrs. Bloom

Mrs. Bloom, boom boom, breakin' every rule
Dancin' on the table at the nursing school
She's got arthritis but she's still in bloom
Rockin' like a riot in her living room
Mrs. Bloom, zoom zoom, in a stolen van
Crashin' senior yoga just to start a jam
She's got dentures, glitter, and a sonic boom
Long live the madness of Mrs. Bloom

Mrs. Bloom, boom boom, breakin' every rule
Dancin' on the table at the nursing school
She's got arthritis but she's still in bloom
Rockin' like a riot in her living room
Mrs. Bloom, zoom zoom, in a stolen van
Crashin' senior yoga just to start a jam
She's got dentures, glitter, and a sonic boom
Long live the madness of Mrs. Bloom

Well, she lost her teeth in a mosh pit last June
But somehow gained two boyfriends and a silver spoon
One's a retired pirate, the other brews moonshine—
They both think she's eighty... she says "That's fine."
She rides sidecar with one, slow dances with the other
Calls them "my spicy little thunder and my undercover lover."
So if you hear loud music and a crash at your tomb
Don't panic—it's just Mrs. Bloom

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