Lyrics Alice's Restaurant (February 27th 1967) [Remastered] - Live - Arlo Guthrie
This
song
is
called
Alice's
Restaurant,
and
it's
about
Alice,
and
the
Restaurant,
but
Alice's
Restaurant
is
not
the
name
of
the
restaurant,
That's
just
the
name
of
the
song,
and
that's
why
I
called
the
song
Alice's
Restaurant.
You
can
get
anything
you
want
at
Alice's
Restaurant
You
can
get
anything
you
want
at
Alice's
Restaurant
Walk
right
in
it's
around
the
back
Just
a
half
a
mile
from
the
railroad
track
You
can
get
anything
you
want
at
Alice's
Restaurant
Now
it
all
started
two
Thanksgivings
ago,
was
on
- two
years
ago
on
Thanksgiving,
when
my
friend
and
I
went
up
to
visit
Alice
at
the
Restaurant,
but
Alice
doesn't
live
in
the
restaurant,
she
lives
in
the
Church
nearby
the
restaurant,
in
the
bell-tower,
with
her
husband
Ray
and
Fasha
the
dog.
And
livin'
in
the
bell
tower
like
that,
they
got
a
lot
of
Room
downstairs
where
the
pews
used
to
be
in.
Havin'
all
that
room,
Seein'
as
how
they
took
out
all
the
pews,
they
decided
that
they
didn't
Have
to
take
out
their
garbage
for
a
long
time.
We
got
up
there,
we
found
all
the
garbage
in
there,
and
we
decided
it'd
be
A
friendly
gesture
for
us
to
take
the
garbage
down
to
the
city
dump.
So
We
took
the
half
a
ton
of
garbage,
put
it
in
the
back
of
a
red
VW
Microbus,
took
shovels
and
rakes
and
implements
of
destruction
and
headed
On
toward
the
city
dump.
Well
we
got
there
and
there
was
a
big
sign
and
a
chain
across
across
the
Dump
saying,
"Closed
on
Thanksgiving."
And
we
had
never
heard
of
a
dump
Closed
on
Thanksgiving
before,
and
with
tears
in
our
eyes
we
drove
off
Into
the
sunset
looking
for
another
place
to
put
the
garbage.
We
didn't
find
one.
Until
we
came
to
a
side
road,
and
off
the
side
of
the
Side
road
there
was
another
fifteen
foot
cliff
and
at
the
bottom
of
the
Cliff
there
was
another
pile
of
garbage.
And
we
decided
that
one
big
pile
Is
better
than
two
little
piles,
and
rather
than
bring
that
one
up
we
Decided
to
throw
our's
down.
That's
what
we
did,
and
drove
back
to
the
church,
had
a
thanksgiving
Dinner
that
couldn't
be
beat,
went
to
sleep
and
didn't
get
up
until
the
Next
morning,
when
we
got
a
phone
call
from
officer
Obie.
He
said,
"Kid,
We
found
your
name
on
an
envelope
at
the
bottom
of
a
half
a
ton
of
Garbage,
and
just
wanted
to
know
if
you
had
any
information
about
it."
And
I
said,
"Yes,
sir,
Officer
Obie,
I
cannot
tell
a
lie,
I
put
that
envelope
Under
that
garbage."
After
speaking
to
Obie
for
about
fourty-five
minutes
on
the
telephone
we
Finally
arrived
at
the
truth
of
the
matter
and
said
that
we
had
to
go
down
And
pick
up
the
garbage,
and
also
had
to
go
down
and
speak
to
him
at
the
Police
officer's
station.
So
we
got
in
the
red
VW
microbus
with
the
Shovels
and
rakes
and
implements
of
destruction
and
headed
on
toward
the
Police
officer's
station.
Now
friends,
there
was
only
one
or
two
things
that
Obie
coulda
done
at
The
police
station,
and
the
first
was
he
could
have
given
us
a
medal
for
Being
so
brave
and
honest
on
the
telephone,
which
wasn't
very
likely,
and
We
didn't
expect
it,
and
the
other
thing
was
he
could
have
bawled
us
out
And
told
us
never
to
be
see
driving
garbage
around
the
vicinity
again,
Which
is
what
we
expected,
but
when
we
got
to
the
police
officer's
station
There
was
a
third
possibility
that
we
hadn't
even
counted
upon,
and
we
was
Both
immediately
arrested.
Handcuffed.
And
I
said
"Obie,
I
don't
think
I
Can
pick
up
the
garbage
with
these
handcuffs
on."
He
said,
"Shut
up,
kid.
Get
in
the
back
of
the
patrol
car."
And
that's
what
we
did,
sat
in
the
back
of
the
patrol
car
and
drove
to
the
Quote
Scene
of
the
Crime
unquote.
I
want
tell
you
about
the
town
of
Stockbridge,
Massachusets,
where
this
happened
here,
they
got
three
stop
Signs,
two
police
officers,
and
one
police
car,
but
when
we
got
to
the
Scene
of
the
Crime
there
was
five
police
officers
and
three
police
cars,
Being
the
biggest
crime
of
the
last
fifty
years,
and
everybody
wanted
to
Get
in
the
newspaper
story
about
it.
And
they
was
using
up
all
kinds
of
Cop
equipment
that
they
had
hanging
around
the
police
officer's
station.
They
was
taking
plaster
tire
tracks,
foot
prints,
dog
smelling
prints,
and
They
took
twenty
seven
eight-by-ten
colour
glossy
photographs
with
circles
And
arrows
and
a
paragraph
on
the
back
of
each
one
explaining
what
each
One
was
to
be
used
as
evidence
against
us.
Took
pictures
of
the
approach,
The
getaway,
the
northwest
corner
the
southwest
corner
and
that's
not
to
Mention
the
aerial
photography.
After
the
ordeal,
we
went
back
to
the
jail.
Obie
said
he
was
going
to
put
Us
in
the
cell.
Said,
"Kid,
I'm
going
to
put
you
in
the
cell,
I
want
your
Wallet
and
your
belt."
And
I
said,
"Obie,
I
can
understand
you
wanting
my
Wallet
so
I
don't
have
any
money
to
spend
in
the
cell,
but
what
do
you
Want
my
belt
for?"
And
he
said,
"Kid,
we
don't
want
any
hangings."
I
Said,
"Obie,
did
you
think
I
was
going
to
hang
myself
for
littering?"
Obie
said
he
was
making
sure,
and
friends
Obie
was,
cause
he
took
out
the
Toilet
seat
so
I
couldn't
hit
myself
over
the
head
and
drown,
and
he
took
Out
the
toilet
paper
so
I
couldn't
bend
the
bars
roll
out
the
- roll
the
Toilet
paper
out
the
window,
slide
down
the
roll
and
have
an
escape.
Obie
Was
making
sure,
and
it
was
about
four
or
five
hours
later
that
Alice
(Remember
Alice?
It's
a
song
about
Alice),
Alice
came
by
and
with
a
few
Nasty
words
to
Obie
on
the
side,
bailed
us
out
of
jail,
and
we
went
back
To
the
church,
had
a
another
thanksgiving
dinner
that
couldn't
be
beat,
And
didn't
get
up
until
the
next
morning,
when
we
all
had
to
go
to
court.
We
walked
in,
sat
down,
Obie
came
in
with
the
twenty
seven
eight-by-ten
Colour
glossy
pictures
with
circles
and
arrows
and
a
paragraph
on
the
back
Of
each
one,
sat
down.
Man
came
in
said,
"All
rise."
We
all
stood
up,
And
Obie
stood
up
with
the
twenty
seven
eight-by-ten
colour
glossy
Pictures,
and
the
judge
walked
in
sat
down
with
a
seeing
eye
dog,
and
he
Sat
down,
we
sat
down.
Obie
looked
at
the
seeing
eye
dog,
and
then
at
the
Twenty
seven
eight-by-ten
colour
glossy
pictures
with
circles
and
arrows
And
a
paragraph
on
the
back
of
each
one,
and
looked
at
the
seeing
eye
dog.
And
then
at
twenty
seven
eight-by-ten
colour
glossy
pictures
with
circles
And
arrows
and
a
paragraph
on
the
back
of
each
one
and
began
to
cry,
'Cause
Obie
came
to
the
realization
that
it
was
a
typical
case
of
American
Blind
justice,
and
there
wasn't
nothing
he
could
do
about
it,
and
the
Judge
wasn't
going
to
look
at
the
twenty
seven
eight-by-ten
colour
glossy
Pictures
with
the
circles
and
arrows
and
a
paragraph
on
the
back
of
each
One
explaining
what
each
one
was
to
be
used
as
evidence
against
us.
And
We
was
fined
$50
and
had
to
pick
up
the
garbage
in
the
snow,
but
thats
not
What
I
came
to
tell
you
about.
Came
to
talk
about
the
draft.
They
got
a
building
down
New
York
City,
it's
called
Whitehall
Street,
Where
you
walk
in,
you
get
injected,
inspected,
detected,
infected,
Neglected
and
selected.
I
went
down
to
get
my
physical
examination
one
Day,
and
I
walked
in,
I
sat
down,
got
good
and
drunk
the
night
before,
so
I
looked
and
felt
my
best
when
I
went
in
that
morning.
'Cause
I
wanted
to
Look
like
the
all-American
kid
from
New
York
City,
man
I
wanted,
I
wanted
To
feel
like
the
all-,
I
wanted
to
be
the
all
American
kid
from
New
York,
And
I
walked
in,
sat
down,
I
was
hung
down,
brung
down,
hung
up,
and
all
Kinds
o'
mean
nasty
ugly
things.
And
I
waked
in
and
sat
down
and
they
gave
Me
a
piece
of
paper,
said,
"Kid,
see
the
phsychiatrist,
room
604."
And
I
went
up
there,
I
said,
"Shrink,
I
want
to
kill.
I
mean,
I
wanna,
I
Wanna
kill.
Kill.
I
wanna,
I
wanna
see,
I
wanna
see
blood
and
gore
and
Guts
and
veins
in
my
teeth.
Eat
dead
burnt
bodies.
I
mean
kill,
Kill,
KILL,
KILL."
And
I
started
jumpin
up
and
down
yelling,
"KILL,
KILL,"
and
He
started
jumpin
up
and
down
with
me
and
we
was
both
jumping
up
and
down
Yelling,
"KILL,
KILL."
And
the
sargent
came
over,
pinned
a
medal
on
me,
Sent
me
down
the
hall,
said,
"You're
our
boy."
Didn't
feel
too
good
about
it.
Proceeded
on
down
the
hall
gettin
more
injections,
inspections,
Detections,
neglections
and
all
kinds
of
stuff
that
they
was
doin'
to
me
At
the
thing
there,
and
I
was
there
for
two
hours,
three
hours,
four
Hours,
I
was
there
for
a
long
time
going
through
all
kinds
of
mean
nasty
Ugly
things
and
I
was
just
having
a
tough
time
there,
and
they
was
Inspecting,
injecting
every
single
part
of
me,
and
they
was
leaving
no
Part
untouched.
Proceeded
through,
and
when
I
finally
came
to
the
see
the
Last
man,
I
walked
in,
walked
in
sat
down
after
a
whole
big
thing
there,
And
I
walked
up
and
said,
"What
do
you
want?"
He
said,
"Kid,
we
only
got
One
question.
Have
you
ever
been
arrested?"
And
I
proceeded
to
tell
him
the
story
of
the
Alice's
Restaurant
Massacre,
With
full
orchestration
and
five
part
harmony
and
stuff
like
that
and
all
The
phenome...
- and
he
stopped
me
right
there
and
said,
"Kid,
did
you
ever
Go
to
court?"
And
I
proceeded
to
tell
him
the
story
of
the
twenty
seven
eight-by-ten
Colour
glossy
pictures
with
the
circles
and
arrows
and
the
paragraph
on
The
back
of
each
one,
and
he
stopped
me
right
there
and
said,
"Kid,
I
want
You
to
go
and
sit
down
on
that
bench
that
says
Group
W
...
NOW
kid!!"
And
I,
I
walked
over
to
the,
to
the
bench
there,
and
there
is,
Group
W's
Where
they
put
you
if
you
may
not
be
moral
enough
to
join
the
army
after
Committing
your
special
crime,
and
there
was
all
kinds
of
mean
nasty
ugly
Looking
people
on
the
bench
there.
Mother
rapers.
Father
stabbers.
Father
Rapers!
Father
rapers
sitting
right
there
on
the
bench
next
to
me!
And
They
was
mean
and
nasty
and
ugly
and
horrible
crime-type
guys
sitting
on
the
Bench
next
to
me.
And
the
meanest,
ugliest,
nastiest
one,
the
meanest
Father
raper
of
them
all,
was
coming
over
to
me
and
he
was
mean
'n'
ugly
'N'
nasty
'n'
horrible
and
all
kind
of
things
and
he
sat
down
next
to
me
And
said,
"Kid,
whad'ya
get?"
I
said,
"I
didn't
get
nothing,
I
had
to
pay
$50
and
pick
up
the
garbage."
He
said,
"What
were
you
arrested
for,
kid?"
And
I
said,
"Littering."
And
they
all
moved
away
from
me
on
the
bench
There,
and
the
hairy
eyeball
and
all
kinds
of
mean
nasty
things,
till
I
Said,
"And
creating
a
nuisance."
And
they
all
came
back,
shook
my
hand,
And
we
had
a
great
time
on
the
bench,
talkin
about
crime,
mother
stabbing,
Father
raping,
all
kinds
of
groovy
things
that
we
was
talking
about
on
the
Bench.
And
everything
was
fine,
we
was
smoking
cigarettes
and
all
kinds
of
Things,
until
the
Sargeant
came
over,
had
some
paper
in
his
hand,
held
it
Up
and
said.
"Kids,
this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-
Know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-
You-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-
Officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say",
and
talked
for
Forty-five
minutes
and
nobody
understood
a
word
that
he
said,
but
we
had
Fun
filling
out
the
forms
and
playing
with
the
pencils
on
the
bench
there,
And
I
filled
out
the
massacre
with
the
four
part
harmony,
and
wrote
it
Down
there,
just
like
it
was,
and
everything
was
fine
and
I
put
down
the
Pencil,
and
I
turned
over
the
piece
of
paper,
and
there,
there
on
the
Other
side,
in
the
middle
of
the
other
side,
away
from
everything
else
on
The
other
side,
in
parentheses,
capital
letters,
quotated,
read
the
Following
words:
("KID,
HAVE
YOU
REHABILITATED
YOURSELF?")
I
went
over
to
the
sargent,
said,
"Sargeant,
you
got
a
lot
a
damn
gall
to
Ask
me
if
I've
rehabilitated
myself,
I
mean,
I
mean,
I
mean
that
just,
I'm
Sittin'
here
on
the
bench,
I
mean
I'm
sittin
here
on
the
Group
W
bench
'Cause
you
want
to
know
if
I'm
moral
enough
join
the
army,
burn
women,
Kids,
houses
and
villages
after
bein'
a
litterbug."
He
looked
at
me
and
Said,
"Kid,
we
don't
like
your
kind,
and
we're
gonna
send
you
fingerprints
Off
to
Washington."
And
friends,
somewhere
in
Washington
enshrined
in
some
little
folder,
is
a
Study
in
black
and
white
of
my
fingerprints.
And
the
only
reason
I'm
Singing
you
this
song
now
is
cause
you
may
know
somebody
in
a
similar
Situation,
or
you
may
be
in
a
similar
situation,
and
if
your
in
a
Situation
like
that
there's
only
one
thing
you
can
do
and
that's
walk
into
The
shrink
wherever
you
are,
just
walk
in
say
"Shrink,
You
can
get
Anything
you
want,
at
Alice's
restaurant.".
And
walk
out.
You
know,
if
One
person,
just
one
person
does
it
they
may
think
he's
really
sick
and
They
won't
take
him.
And
if
two
people,
two
people
do
it,
in
harmony,
They
may
think
they're
both
faggots
and
they
won't
take
either
of
them.
And
three
people
do
it,
three,
can
you
imagine,
three
people
walking
in
Singin
a
bar
of
Alice's
Restaurant
and
walking
out.
They
may
think
it's
an
Organization.
And
can
you,
can
you
imagine
fifty
people
a
day,
I
said
Fifty
people
a
day
walking
in
singin
a
bar
of
Alice's
Restaurant
and
Walking
out.
And
friends
they
may
thinks
it's
a
movement.
And
that's
what
it
is,
the
Alice's
Restaurant
Anti-Massacre
Movement,
and
All
you
got
to
do
to
join
is
sing
it
the
next
time
it
come's
around
on
the
Guitar.
With
feeling.
So
we'll
wait
for
it
to
come
around
on
the
guitar,
here
and
Sing
it
when
it
does.
Here
it
comes.
You
can
get
anything
you
want,
at
Alice's
Restaurant
You
can
get
anything
you
want,
at
Alice's
Restaurant
Walk
right
in
it's
around
the
back
Just
a
half
a
mile
from
the
railroad
track
You
can
get
anything
you
want,
at
Alice's
Restaurant
That
was
horrible.
If
you
want
to
end
war
and
stuff
you
got
to
sing
loud.
I've
been
singing
this
song
now
for
twenty
five
minutes.
I
could
sing
it
For
another
twenty
five
minutes.
I'm
not
proud...
or
tired.
So
we'll
wait
till
it
comes
around
again,
and
this
time
with
four
part
Harmony
and
feeling.
We're
just
waitin'
for
it
to
come
around
is
what
we're
doing.
All
right
now.
Album
Alice's Restaurant - The 1967 WBAI-FM Collection (Remastered) [Live Radio Broadcast Set]
date of release
22-06-2015
1 Alice's Restaurant (February 27th 1967) [Remastered] - Live
2 The Alice's Restaurant Multi-Colored Rainbow Roach Affair (May 1967) [Remastered] - Live
3 The Alice's Restaurant Multi-Colored Rainbow Roach Affair (August 6th 1967) [Remastered] - Live
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