Lyrics Raw - CJ

Fuck a beat, I'll spit it raw
Pour my emotions in a track until these words can't handle more
Acapella shows my flaws
Would fight to hide them but I'm too sore
From violently resisting the internal instinct to put the gun to my head and-

No, I swore I wouldn't bring this up
I swore to keep it light
But it gets so fucking hard with all that's weighing on my mind
Every time I try to sleep
This darkness grows in size
So in spite of feeling tired, I stay awake the whole night
In fact, as I write this
The time is half past five
And the silence deafens me from the inside
Out
Would shout for help
But I don't feel helpless, I know where my help is
Yet I choose to ignore it, truly my health is the least of my concerns
Lack of identity left me selfless
For better or worse
The effects are uncertain
I'm wrestling in dirt
So invested in work
I feel like less of a personality
And more of a damaged being
With no one to act as wings
I'll fall from the balance beam
And who's gunna catch this fiend?
Cause I've been a fiend
For the money, the fame, wish I could refrain from greed
But I feel the need to be recognised
So much so that I fail to recognise
The ones whose arms are breaking just to keep my head held high
They say men don't cry
What does that make me?
Cause I've shed tears over fears
That I can't do anything
But watch as friendship dies
And death is nigh
I have to put the pen aside
For a minute
Let me focus
Fuck

Fuck a beat, I'll spit it raw
Pour my emotions in a track until I can't handle any more
Acapella shows my flaws
Would fight to hide them but I'm too sore
From violently resisting the internal instinct to put the gun to my head and-