1 Certain Leaders In Government Look Or Act Like Certain Pop Culture References!
2 Women, Please Rinse Off Your Vagina And Anus!
3 A Rapid Series Of Comical Noises!
4 I've Taken a Popular Contemporary Pop Song and Changed the Lyrics to Comment on the Proliferation of Starbucks in My Neighborhood!
5 Although Indigent, Rural Families Have Little to Say in the Matter, Third Rate Public Education Has Kept Them Ignorant and Thus, Great Sources of Ridicule!
6 My Child is Enthralling, Especially When It Says Something Unexpectedly Precocious Even Though It Doesn't Understand What It Just Said!
7 My Immigrant Mom Talks Funny!
8 When It Comes to Jews, Behavior One Might Perceive as Obnoxious and Annoying I Present as "Quirky", but It's Okay to Joke About It Because I, Myself, Am Jewish!
9 Pandering To The Locals!
10 Even Though I Am In The Closet, That Won't Prevent Me From Getting Cheap Laughs At The Expense Of Homosexuals!
11 Weathermen Have Become, For The Most Part, Obsolete!
12 When All Is Said And Done, I Am Lonely And Miserable And Barely Able To Mask My Contempt For The Audience As I Trot Out The Same Sorry Act I've Been Doing Since The Mid-eighties!