Lyrics Open Letter - (EM)

i deserve to acknowledge
the painful
awkwardness that
remains from the real
pain I've inflicted

if I used you
i am sorry
even, maybe especially
if I didn't mean to
or realize it at the time

my mind is always rewinding
the tape and playing it through
and I hate it, though I understand it
and I definitely don't hate you

i'm a captain aboard a ship that
cannot adhere to the wheel
i know, but that does not solve it

the memory's uncomfortable
but I relive it to try to be better
i hope that begins
an apology to you
and to others, and the world

and I understand if it isn't
enough
and I understand if it isn't
enough
and I understand if it isn't
enough

i understand