Lyrics The Boy Named If - Elvis Costello , The Imposters

I'm a lucky so and so
A fortunate stiff
You said you'd never knew me but I'm the one you want to be with
If I tumble from a tight rope or leap from a cliff
I won't be dashed to pieces
I'm the boy named If

If I disappear and I slip out from your view
I just step upon a crack and I won't come back
Imagine me and I'll imagine you too

In a hollow of the bedsheet, or a picture in a frame
I'm vivid as a summer's day, then never seen again
Who'll pay the taxman? Who'll place the blame?
Who'll point into an empty room and whisper my name?

If I disappear and I slip out from your view
You will step upon a crack and I won't come back
Imagine me and I'll imagine you too

Take my hand, we'll go to Magic Lantern Land (my hand)
Take my hand, see the pictures they've projected (my hand)
Take my hand, we'll fill our pockets up with sand (my hand)
Dance in frantic passes 'til the grains all turn to glasses

Drums begin to navigate, the band strikes up a riff
No one will believe you but the boy named If
Who'll pay your entrance fee? Who'll leave a tip?
Who'll say, "Listen here, Sunshine, don't you give me no lip"?
Who broke your favourite heart? Who stops and never starts?
Who kiss you stupid? It must be something you did
Who'll keep you satisfied after a lover's tiff?
It must be some other guy not the boy named If

If I disappear and I slip out from your view
You will step upon a crack and I won't come back
Imagine me and I'll imagine you too

Take my hand, we'll go to Magic Lantern Land (my hand)
Take my hand, see the pictures we've projected (my hand)
Take my hand, we'll fill our pockets up with sand (my hand)
Dance in frantic passes 'til the grains all turn to glasses