Lyrics Maria - Portia Nelson , Marni Nixon , Annalee

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to Mass
And whistles on the stairs
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair!
I've even heard her singing in the abbey!

She's always late for chapel
But her penitence is real
She's always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey!
I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet, a willo-the-wisp, a clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I'm with her, I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling, she's a demon
She's a lamb!
She'd out-pester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl

She is gentle, she is wild
She's a riddle, she's a child
She's a headache!
She's an angel!
She's a girl!

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet, a willo-the-wisp, a clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?