Flanders & Swann - Too Many Cookers Lyrics

Lyrics Too Many Cookers - Flanders , Swann




When we had an old-fashioned kitchen
Cooking was a slow but easy-going job
A place to talk, a place to sit and stitch in
While we kept half an eye on the kettle on the hob
Cooks went the way of the dinosaur
We struggled on alone
Then science provided the answer
Free the British housewife
Give her a life of her own
Our kitchen on the modern plan
May be a fancy looker
But we've jumped out of the frying pan
Into the pressure cooker
We have every sort of gadget now
For every sort of chore
But it's much more work and worry
Than it ever was before
There are cables on the tables
With plugs of every shape
And what we save in elbow grease
We spend on insulating tape
The fridge is quite prodigious
At refrigerating grub
But every forty minutes it goes
"Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub!"
We're confused by all the fuses
The oven changes gear
Instead of a cook, you rarely meet
A consulting engineer
There's a pinger on the ringer
We can't hear each other speak
That thing on the shelf's been whipping itself
For the best part of a week
The pilot light is winking
We can't locate the switch
We've every sort of gadget, but
We don't know which is which
With our new pneumatic icer
Our self-actuated nicer
The ideal-for-cooking ricer
And the hard-boiled duck egg slicer
With the universal grater
And the patent desiccator
The vibrating dehydrater
And the plastic percolator
The electric coffee grinder
The serrated vega grinder
The expungeable reminder
And the vermicelli winder
Oh, we've every sort of gadget
And it's rather odd to think
We still can't open sardine tins
And we still stop up the sink
We don't want a labour-saving kitchen
We much prefer the one we had before
Why did science have to pitch in
To our nice, old-fashioned pigeon?
Please don't save us labour anymore!



Writer(s): Flanders, Swann


Flanders & Swann - The Complete Flanders & Swann
Album The Complete Flanders & Swann
date of release
03-03-2003

1 Sea Fever
2 The Sea Horse
3 The Chameleon
4 Twosome: Kang and Jag (Kangaroo Tango / Jaguar)
5 Dead Ducks
6 The Spider
7 Twice Shy
8 Commonwealth Fair
9 Paris
10 Eine Kleine Nacht Musik Cha Cha Cha
11 The Hundred Song
12 Food For Thought
13 Bed
14 Threesome: The Duck-Billed Platypus / The Humming Bird / The Portugese Man-O-War
15 Built Up Area
16 Kokoraki
17 Too Many Cookers
18 Vanessa
19 Tried By The Centre Court
20 The Youth Of The Heart
21 Los Olividados
22 In the Desert
23 A Transport of Delight
24 Song of Reproduction
25 The Gnu Song
26 Design For Living
27 Je Suis Le Tenebreux
28 Songs For Our Time (Philological Waltz/Satellite Moon/A Happy Song)
29 A Song Of The Weather
30 The Reluctant Cannibal
31 Greensleeves
32 Misalliance
33 Madeira, M’Dear?
34 The Hippopotamus Song
35 The Gas Man Cometh
36 Sounding Brass
37 Ill Wind
38 First and Second Law
39 All Gall
40 Horoscope
41 Friendly Duet
42 Bedstead Men
43 By Air
44 Slow Train
45 A Song Of Patriotic Prejudice
46 In the Bath
47 Hippo Encore
48 The Warthog (The Hog Beneath the Skin)
49 The Whale (Mopy Dick)
50 The Sloth
51 The Rhinoceros
52 The Elephant
53 The Armadillo
54 The Wild Boar
55 The Ostrich
56 The Wompom
57 P** P* B**** B** D******
58 Twenty Tons of TNT
59 The War Of 14-18




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